ex girlfriend called

[cycloneman]

I received a phone call from
a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who called
this morning 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.

We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic
times we used to enjoy
together.

I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested
in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old
magic'.

'Wow!' I was flabbergasted.

'I don't know if I could
keep pace with you now', I said,
'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer and
balder than when you last
saw me. Plus I don't really have
the energy I used to have.'

She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to
the challenge'.

'Yeah.' I said 'Just so long
as you don't mind a waistline
that's a few inches wider these days!

Not to mention my total lack
of muscle tone...everything
is sagging, my teeth are a
bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.

She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older
men were cute, and she was sure
I would still be a great
lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've
put on a few pounds myself!'


So I told her to GET LOST !!!!!!

[pinecone70]

[Charlie the sniper]

My wife asked me, if her bum looked big in her new jeans, I told her that her bum would look big in the Pacific Ocean.

[Charlie the sniper]

That reminds me of a Swedish female pen pal I had a few years back, after writing to each other for 5 years, she asked if she could visit me in England. I could not wait, I sent her a airline ticket the next day. Then a few day's later, she sent me a letter, she was feeling a bit unsure about coming to see me, because she had an ear missing. Of course, I wrote back, telling her that she should not worry, and that I did not care about her physical appearance. Two days later, she wrote telling me that she was so happy with my reaction. But she went on to tell me that she was still nervous, because she had lost a leg in a motorcycle crash, along with her right arm. Once again, I felt that I must reply, telling her that this was not an issue. Then she wrote to me again, thanking me for my kind words of support, she explained that she was nervous because, when she was 18 years old, her hair and teeth fell out, and ever since she had been the laughing stock of her village in Sweden. She said that she could not wait to meet me at the airport in a weeks time. Once again I replied, I wanted her to feel at ease, I told her that she had found a place in my heart, because of her letters over the years, and I knew that she was a beautiful person, who I wanted to spend time with. I also asked her for a photo, so I could recognise her at the airport.

[PPK 32]

Originally Posted by Charlie the sniper

My wife asked me, if her bum looked big in her new jeans, I told her that her bum would look big in the Pacific Ocean.

Then the fight started!!!

[kutaho]

Originally Posted by Charlie the sniper

My wife asked me, if her bum looked big in her new jeans, I told her that her bum would look big in the Pacific Ocean.

Even if my wife got a bit broad in the beam, she wouldn't hear it from me.
I wouldn't want to wake up with something super glued to my leg