A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends - The Firearms Forum

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 01:30 PM

This is funny, trust me.

The wife and I went to Lowe's and bought a new toilet seat about a year ago. We brought it home and smeared chocolate brownies as realistically as we could and we even left a little TP on the seat with a brown surprise still in it. Then we set it in our dish washer.

That eveving the pastor came over for dinner and the dish washer was shut. We served dinner at the table and as I was the last to sit down I quietly opened the dish washer and joined everyone at the table. The pastor finished his portion and naturally wanted more. I said "Absolutely Pastor, go help yourself."

I could hardly keep from busting up. So he gets up and serves himself and then all of a sudden turns and sees the toilet seat in the dish washer. Right about that time I took on the role of Eddy from Christmas Vacation, where Eddy was just scooping stuff up in big portions and chewing heavily. I was being redneck all the way.

The pastor came back to the table with his eyes wide open and a blank face and sat down next to me. He was speechless and expressionless. I nudged him and said "Well did ya get ya some?" He was motionless. We carried on for a few minutes and all of a sudden my wife and I started laughing and clued him in on the joke. He was hysterical,,, literally.

I think it would be funny for some of you guys to do the same thing except play the joke on your wives. There would be some funny stories. After that you and your wife can play the joke on your kids. You can just set it in the dishwasher and tell Jr. to put his bowl in the dishwasher and watch the panic set in as he sees the brown covered toilet seat.

Next weekend we are having friends over for a barbecue and I will be cooking with some of Sams rub. Guess what will be in the dish washer?

We are attending a new church now and I guess we will have to invite that pastor and his wife over for dinner too.

geds · 07-07-2012, 01:37 PM

Oh, you just ain't right! My uncle tells the story of hist frat in college had a party where the punch bowl was a toilet. The punch was pineapple and they, of course, had Baby Ruth bars floating in it....

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geds

Oh, you just ain't right! My uncle tells the story of hist frat in college had a party where the punch bowl was a toilet. The punch was pineapple and they, of course, had Baby Ruth bars floating in it....

The funny thing is when we gagged our grandson today my wife wiped the brown off the toilet with her finger and I tasted her finger.

I think our grand kid will be messed up permanently.

geds · 07-07-2012, 01:51 PM

Wait until you see him repeating the process - but not in the kitchen!

geds · 07-07-2012, 01:55 PM

My cousin baked a birthday cake for my grandmother. Except the top layer was a piece of foam rubber with a wedge cut out and replaced with cake. It was all iced very nicely. She cut herself a slice from the cake and handed the knife to my grandmother so she could cut a piece for herself. All the while Jill talked about how hard she worked on the cake as she ate her piece with a plastic fork. My poor grandmother was still trying to slice her piece and keep from hurting Jill's feelings.....

Of course, nobody else could keep a straight face!

Bobitis · 07-07-2012, 02:05 PM

Jim, you will now officially go by the name 'Junior' (Jr.).

Our forum mascot, Glocknut, would be proud.

Bobitis · 07-07-2012, 02:11 PM

So, if I'm reading this correctly, you bought a new seat a year ago and never used it? Or is that the old one in the d/w?

Appliancedude · 07-07-2012, 02:12 PM

Jim I swear to all that is Holy if someone plays that gag on me, while I'm there to work on their DW, I will be blaming you and tracking you down

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobitis

So, if I'm reading this correctly, you bought a new seat a year ago and never used it? Or is that the old one in the d/w?

That there is the new one. We use it over and over. When our grandsons mom comes to get him, he is going to show her and I am speculating he will take his finger and wipe the chocolate and taste it to gross her out. At the point I will say, "Oh no Jordon, that really wasn't chocolate."

Your going to try this, hu Bob.

Yours truly,

Jr.

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Appliancedude

Jim I swear to all that is Holy if someone plays that gag on me, while I'm there to work on their DW, I will be blaming you and tracking you down

Oh, if I could make that arrangement I would be,,,

. Where do you live?

wv hillbilly · 07-07-2012, 02:45 PM

only one problem. my wife is the dish washer

wv hillbilly · 07-07-2012, 02:47 PM

hkruss · 07-07-2012, 03:07 PM

Highboy, I bet the Pastor saw that and said, "Holy Crap"!!!

.

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wv hillbilly

only one problem. my wife is the dish washer

That's perfect. Put the toilet seat in the DW and close it and wait for her to open it up.

sting75ray · 07-07-2012, 03:51 PM

I think we all know why you are going to a NEW church now.

sting75ray · 07-07-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 76Highboy

That's perfect. Put the toilet seat in the DW and close it and wait for her to open it up.

I think he meant that his wife IS the dishwasher.

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sting75ray

I think we all know why you are going to a NEW church now.

You just made my wife laugh. Both church's are affiliated and the pastors know one another. They are known for playing gags on each other so it should be funny when we get the new one.

RunningOnMT · 07-07-2012, 03:56 PM

When my kids were little (like 7 and 10) I came home one evening and found that apparently my wife was out running an errand with the kids. So I went to the bathroom to freshen up.

While I was in there I hear them all come home. As they came in the door the girls in typical fashion came running to the bathroom screaming "I gotta pee", "Me first, I've gotta pee more". When they hit the door and realized I was inside they started moaning.

It was just then that I happened to notice the candy bar in my shirt pocket that I had forgotten to eat at work, and the idea hit. I unwrapped the bar as I said, "I'll be out in just a minute girls". I smeared chocolate all over the toilet seat. Then I opened the door and as I passed them said "OK, it's all yours".

There was a slight delay when they both ran into the bathroom still fighting over who got to go first. Then a blood curdling scream. My wife went running to see what was going on...and then another scream. Then my wife (ex) screamed out my full name like a parent might do when their kid has been bad. At the door my wife greeted me with a sponge and a can of Lysol, handed them to me and asked in a now reserved tone "We have a problem do we?" "No, why, what's the problem?", I responded.

As I innocently entered the bathroom pretending to see what all the fuss was about, my ex followed me in while the kids stood in the hall marching in place and moaning. Cleaning up the mess I whispered to my ex what I had done and she literally collapsed on the floor laughing.

It's amazing the pranks one can play with a toilet seat and a little ingenuity. But doing it to your pastor??? Really!!! Funny prank but I bet you a dozen donuts you've got one coming from your pastor.

geds · 07-07-2012, 03:59 PM

When you invite your next one over, place a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. Wait until he eats some, and refill the bowl with chocolate covered ones and explain that you can't eat the nuts - that you can just suck the chocolate off of them.....

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 04:47 PM

This will be long winded, but you are gonna bust a gut for sure. This could only happen to me.

I used to mechanic where kids would come by and eat their slushie's. I kind of got to know them. There was one kid named Nathan (who right til today still sees me, he is in his mid twenties) who I would buy a slushie for because he had no money. So I got to know him over time.

One day he comes walking up sad and tells me that his friend Robbie comes over with his friends and drinks all his cool-aid while his dad is at work. He also let me know that his dad only gave him one pack of cool-aid a day to drink. It just so happned to be that I knew Robbie, he was a spoiled brat.

After hearing Nathan tell me this I blurted out, "Well if it were me, I would pee in the cool-aid and he would not do that any more." I am sure you see where this is going, but it gets better.

The next day Nathan comes over on his bike and tells me that Robbie came over with his friends and drank the cool-aid and that he had pee'd in it. I told him not to do that because I was just being funny. Anyway, this went on for several weeks.

One day, Nathan comes over to me and said that he was in trouble because Robbie found out he was peeing in the cool-aid. He asked me if I would come to his house and meet his dad and talk to him. He also told me that his dad did not know about the pee in the cool-aid and it would be best if I talked to him before Robbies mom talked to him. It was my fault for putting the idea in his head so I agreed to take the heat for him.

After work that day I went to Nathans house. I had never been there and had never met his father so I knew it was going to be interesting. I knocked on the door and it opened quickly,,, and there was Nathan. He was sweating bullets and was speechless. I looked behind Nathan and here I seed his father watching TV with a drink in his hand. Nathan starts pushing me with his hand to leave and suddenly his dad says,,, "Well hello Jim, I have heard alot about you, come on in." He then says what I believe to be the funniest thing I could ever imagine,,, he says, "Got some good cool-aid here (as he lifts his plastic cup) and it sure is good." Nathan starts to cry,,,,,,, and I break up laughing. I literally said, "Sir, it is nice to meet you," and I walked away and drove off. I could not believe he was drinking cool-aid that his own son had peed in and no way was I going to break the news while he is drinking it. No way!

Nathan didn't come around for several days but then one day his father showed up at my work. He came up and shook my hand and he just stood there and all of a sudden he said,,, "Why couldn't you have at least told me I was drinking my son's pee before I sat there and downed the whole thing?"

Nathans dad's name is Al, and we are friends right today.

geds · 07-07-2012, 05:37 PM

only you Jimboy! Only you! HAHAHA

sting75ray · 07-07-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 76Highboy

This will be long winded, but you are gonna bust a gut for sure. This could only happen to me.

I used to mechanic where kids would come by and eat their slushie's. I kind of got to know them. There was one kid named Nathan (who right til today still sees me, he is in his mid twenties) who I would buy a slushie for because he had no money. So I got to know him over time.

One day he comes walking up sad and tells me that his friend Robbie comes over with his friends and drinks all his cool-aid while his dad is at work. He also let me know that his dad only gave him one pack of cool-aid a day to drink. It just so happned to be that I knew Robbie, he was a spoiled brat.

After hearing Nathan tell me this I blurted out, "Well if it were me, I would pee in the cool-aid and he would not do that any more." I am sure you see where this is going, but it gets better.

The next day Nathan comes over on his bike and tells me that Robbie came over with his friends and drank the cool-aid and that he had pee'd in it. I told him not to do that because I was just being funny. Anyway, this went on for several weeks.

One day, Nathan comes over to me and said that he was in trouble because Robbie found out he was peeing in the cool-aid. He asked me if I would come to his house and meet his dad and talk to him. He also told me that his dad did not know about the pee in the cool-aid and it would be best if I talked to him before Robbies mom talked to him. It was my fault for putting the idea in his head so I agreed to take the heat for him.

After work that day I went to Nathans house. I had never been there and had never met his father so I knew it was going to be interesting. I knocked on the door and it opened quickly,,, and there was Nathan. He was sweating bullets and was speechless. I looked behind Nathan and here I seed his father watching TV with a drink in his hand. Nathan starts pushing me with his hand to leave and suddenly his dad says,,, "Well hello Jim, I have heard alot about you, come on in." He then says what I believe to be the funniest thing I could ever imagine,,, he says, "Got some good cool-aid here (as he lifts his plastic cup) and it sure is good." Nathan starts to cry,,,,,,, and I break up laughing. I literally said, "Sir, it is nice to meet you," and I walked away and drove off. I could not believe he was drinking cool-aid that his own son had peed in and no way was I going to break the news while he is drinking it. No way!

Nathan didn't come around for several days but then one day his father showed up at my work. He came up and shook my hand and he just stood there and all of a sudden he said,,, "Why couldn't you have at least told me I was drinking my son's pee before I sat there and downed the whole thing?"

Nathans dad's name is Al, and we are friends right today.

Watch this video. LOL

76Highboy · 07-07-2012, 06:11 PM

That is hilarious. My kind of humor.

ShooterBoy33 · 07-07-2012, 06:13 PM

Oh snap bro! Total epic win lol.

I'm doin' it.

wv hillbilly · 07-07-2012, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sting75ray

I think he meant that his wife IS the dishwasher.

07-07-2012, 01:30 PM	#1
76Highboy Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Meridian, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,094	A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends This is funny, trust me. The wife and I went to Lowe's and bought a new toilet seat about a year ago. We brought it home and smeared chocolate brownies as realistically as we could and we even left a little TP on the seat with a brown surprise still in it. Then we set it in our dish washer. That eveving the pastor came over for dinner and the dish washer was shut. We served dinner at the table and as I was the last to sit down I quietly opened the dish washer and joined everyone at the table. The pastor finished his portion and naturally wanted more. I said "Absolutely Pastor, go help yourself." I could hardly keep from busting up. So he gets up and serves himself and then all of a sudden turns and sees the toilet seat in the dish washer. Right about that time I took on the role of Eddy from Christmas Vacation, where Eddy was just scooping stuff up in big portions and chewing heavily. I was being redneck all the way. The pastor came back to the table with his eyes wide open and a blank face and sat down next to me. He was speechless and expressionless. I nudged him and said "Well did ya get ya some?" He was motionless. We carried on for a few minutes and all of a sudden my wife and I started laughing and clued him in on the joke. He was hysterical,,, literally. I think it would be funny for some of you guys to do the same thing except play the joke on your wives. There would be some funny stories. After that you and your wife can play the joke on your kids. You can just set it in the dishwasher and tell Jr. to put his bowl in the dishwasher and watch the panic set in as he sees the brown covered toilet seat. Next weekend we are having friends over for a barbecue and I will be cooking with some of Sams rub. Guess what will be in the dish washer? We are attending a new church now and I guess we will have to invite that pastor and his wife over for dinner too. Attached Images --> Last edited by 76Highboy; 07-07-2012 at 01:32 PM..

07-07-2012, 01:37 PM	#2
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Oh, you just ain't right! My uncle tells the story of hist frat in college had a party where the punch bowl was a toilet. The punch was pineapple and they, of course, had Baby Ruth bars floating in it.... __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

07-07-2012, 01:51 PM	#4
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Wait until you see him repeating the process - but not in the kitchen! __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

07-07-2012, 01:55 PM	#5
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends My cousin baked a birthday cake for my grandmother. Except the top layer was a piece of foam rubber with a wedge cut out and replaced with cake. It was all iced very nicely. She cut herself a slice from the cake and handed the knife to my grandmother so she could cut a piece for herself. All the while Jill talked about how hard she worked on the cake as she ate her piece with a plastic fork. My poor grandmother was still trying to slice her piece and keep from hurting Jill's feelings..... Of course, nobody else could keep a straight face! __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

07-07-2012, 02:05 PM	#6
Bobitis Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 6,612	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Jim, you will now officially go by the name 'Junior' (Jr.). Our forum mascot, Glocknut, would be proud. __________________ ^.^ A point in every direction is the same as having no point at all

07-07-2012, 02:11 PM	#7
Bobitis Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 6,612	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends So, if I'm reading this correctly, you bought a new seat a year ago and never used it? Or is that the old one in the d/w? __________________ ^.^ A point in every direction is the same as having no point at all

07-07-2012, 02:12 PM	#8
Appliancedude Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: The true northern Cal Posts: 1,610	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Jim I swear to all that is Holy if someone plays that gag on me, while I'm there to work on their DW, I will be blaming you and tracking you down __________________ It ain't broke it just lacks duct tape. The nice thing about opinions is everybody has one.

07-07-2012, 02:45 PM	#11
wv hillbilly Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: mountains of wv. Posts: 2,025	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends only one problem. my wife is the dish washer

07-07-2012, 02:47 PM	#12
wv hillbilly Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: mountains of wv. Posts: 2,025	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends

07-07-2012, 03:07 PM	#13
hkruss Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Mobile, Al. Posts: 1,092	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Highboy, I bet the Pastor saw that and said, "Holy Crap"!!! . __________________ obama - "non gratum anus rodentum"

07-07-2012, 03:51 PM	#15
sting75ray Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,093	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends I think we all know why you are going to a NEW church now. __________________ [IMG][/IMG]

07-07-2012, 03:56 PM	#18
RunningOnMT Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Akron, Ohio Contributor Posts: 4,720	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends When my kids were little (like 7 and 10) I came home one evening and found that apparently my wife was out running an errand with the kids. So I went to the bathroom to freshen up. While I was in there I hear them all come home. As they came in the door the girls in typical fashion came running to the bathroom screaming "I gotta pee", "Me first, I've gotta pee more". When they hit the door and realized I was inside they started moaning. It was just then that I happened to notice the candy bar in my shirt pocket that I had forgotten to eat at work, and the idea hit. I unwrapped the bar as I said, "I'll be out in just a minute girls". I smeared chocolate all over the toilet seat. Then I opened the door and as I passed them said "OK, it's all yours". There was a slight delay when they both ran into the bathroom still fighting over who got to go first. Then a blood curdling scream. My wife went running to see what was going on...and then another scream. Then my wife (ex) screamed out my full name like a parent might do when their kid has been bad. At the door my wife greeted me with a sponge and a can of Lysol, handed them to me and asked in a now reserved tone "We have a problem do we?" "No, why, what's the problem?", I responded. As I innocently entered the bathroom pretending to see what all the fuss was about, my ex followed me in while the kids stood in the hall marching in place and moaning. Cleaning up the mess I whispered to my ex what I had done and she literally collapsed on the floor laughing. It's amazing the pranks one can play with a toilet seat and a little ingenuity. But doing it to your pastor??? Really!!! Funny prank but I bet you a dozen donuts you've got one coming from your pastor. __________________ "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"

07-07-2012, 03:59 PM	#19
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends When you invite your next one over, place a bowl of peanuts on the coffee table. Wait until he eats some, and refill the bowl with chocolate covered ones and explain that you can't eat the nuts - that you can just suck the chocolate off of them..... __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

07-07-2012, 04:47 PM	#20
76Highboy Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Meridian, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,094	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends This will be long winded, but you are gonna bust a gut for sure. This could only happen to me. I used to mechanic where kids would come by and eat their slushie's. I kind of got to know them. There was one kid named Nathan (who right til today still sees me, he is in his mid twenties) who I would buy a slushie for because he had no money. So I got to know him over time. One day he comes walking up sad and tells me that his friend Robbie comes over with his friends and drinks all his cool-aid while his dad is at work. He also let me know that his dad only gave him one pack of cool-aid a day to drink. It just so happned to be that I knew Robbie, he was a spoiled brat. After hearing Nathan tell me this I blurted out, "Well if it were me, I would pee in the cool-aid and he would not do that any more." I am sure you see where this is going, but it gets better. The next day Nathan comes over on his bike and tells me that Robbie came over with his friends and drank the cool-aid and that he had pee'd in it. I told him not to do that because I was just being funny. Anyway, this went on for several weeks. One day, Nathan comes over to me and said that he was in trouble because Robbie found out he was peeing in the cool-aid. He asked me if I would come to his house and meet his dad and talk to him. He also told me that his dad did not know about the pee in the cool-aid and it would be best if I talked to him before Robbies mom talked to him. It was my fault for putting the idea in his head so I agreed to take the heat for him. After work that day I went to Nathans house. I had never been there and had never met his father so I knew it was going to be interesting. I knocked on the door and it opened quickly,,, and there was Nathan. He was sweating bullets and was speechless. I looked behind Nathan and here I seed his father watching TV with a drink in his hand. Nathan starts pushing me with his hand to leave and suddenly his dad says,,, "Well hello Jim, I have heard alot about you, come on in." He then says what I believe to be the funniest thing I could ever imagine,,, he says, "Got some good cool-aid here (as he lifts his plastic cup) and it sure is good." Nathan starts to cry,,,,,,, and I break up laughing. I literally said, "Sir, it is nice to meet you," and I walked away and drove off. I could not believe he was drinking cool-aid that his own son had peed in and no way was I going to break the news while he is drinking it. No way! Nathan didn't come around for several days but then one day his father showed up at my work. He came up and shook my hand and he just stood there and all of a sudden he said,,, "Why couldn't you have at least told me I was drinking my son's pee before I sat there and downed the whole thing?" Nathans dad's name is Al, and we are friends right today.

07-07-2012, 05:37 PM	#21
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends only you Jimboy! Only you! HAHAHA __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

07-07-2012, 06:11 PM	#23
76Highboy Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Meridian, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,094	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends That is hilarious. My kind of humor.

07-07-2012, 06:13 PM	#24
ShooterBoy33 Former Guest Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Tennesse Posts: 175	Re: A gag you can play on your wife, kids, your pastor, parents, or friends Oh snap bro! Total epic win lol. I'm doin' it.