The Hormone Warning - The Firearms Forum

SouthernMoss · 05-18-2003, 09:21 PM

THE HORMONE WARNING

Guys always say they don't understand women. Here's a primer to get them started. You might want to print it out and stick it on the fridge as a helpful reminder..... THE HORMONE WARNING:

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate.

Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning.

And remember: Money talks ... but Chocolate sings. :-)

pickenup · 05-19-2003, 12:59 AM

I always bring a bag of "Mountain Man" chocolate peanut clusters home with me from a gun show. Give it to her, THEN talk about guns and such. It helps (sometimes)

armedandsafe · 05-19-2003, 11:34 AM

According to the latest medical studies, Chocolate is good for you. That same study confirmed that it is even better for you, when you give it to HER.

riderbob · 05-20-2003, 10:30 AM

Hey Guys and Moss

I have found something better than chocolate for the monthly PMS thing. It is called sarafem. It is in the prozac family but only taken for 2 weeks of the month. My wife went to the doctor after some uncontrollable emotion fits. (ie Totally freeking out when a mouse is in the kitchen (even hormonal teen daughter thought she was nuts) Then she acts like her best freind died when we caught the mouse and killed it. What a emotional rollor coaster ride that night was.) The doc gave her some samples to try and she will be filling the script as soon as she runs out.This stuff really works. We don't play the lock up the weapons, run and hide game anymore.

The chocolate thing still works , but now we get to share.

Rider

SouthernMoss · 05-20-2003, 10:53 AM

Rider, I'm glad your wife has found something to help. My sister's pms was so bad it actually brought on depression. She ended up having a hysterectomy, and is doing great now.

Fortunately, most women's pms is not that severe. Mine was barely noticeable at all.... no really!!.... I promise!!

Found this on the net... it's an actual product:

Smokin Guns · 05-20-2003, 06:20 PM

Now 'splain this SM. How can all the women's around SG's house all start at different times and slowly...gradually by lunar demand...all gravitate to the same time?...Now folk's this here is a true story!...Law'd a'mercy is the chocolate in demand 'round here...!...

SouthernMoss · 05-20-2003, 06:44 PM

It is in fact true, SG. It's called synchronous menstruation. It occurs with women who spend a lot of time together (sisters, roommates, sometimes even coworkers). Researchers aren't sure what causes it, but believe it's caused by some kind of scent cue, or pheromone. Most women know about this phenomenon, most guys don't, at least in my experience. Glad I could enlighten you.

Smokin Guns · 05-20-2003, 06:55 PM

But SG knew!...Law'd a'mercy I was right all along!...Oooh Rahh!...Hey!...I got pheromone...!...

bigboom338 · 05-21-2003, 12:24 AM

Now I mean no offense to SM cause it is a real pleasure having her in our graces BUT fellas this is The FIREARMS Forrum how in the HE double hockey sticks did we get to PMS ? Maybe we need to add a topic to the forrum and make it fer the wimmen who visit here to answer our questions that we are affraid to ask our wives/girlfriends. It could help us all in the long run.

SouthernMoss · 05-21-2003, 07:09 AM

Hey, all I did was post a joke!

But this is the pumphouse after all; I'm not sure what farts have to do with firearms either

, but give you guys a few drinks and you'll talk about anything.

As for the questions you're afraid to ask your wives/girlfriends... I'll set up a table in the back corner of the pumphouse for advice giving.

bigboom338 · 05-21-2003, 08:45 AM

Thank you SM and I guess when a bunch of guys get together with guns,just about any topic can and usually does pop up.

05-21-2003, 08:53 AM

I think farts and firearms have everything in common.

In fact myth has it the first firearm came about after the inventer had a fit of farts and was wondering how he could use the same principals to destroy bigger things than his britches.

bigboom338 · 05-21-2003, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by warpig
I think farts and firearms have everything in common.

In fact myth has it the first firearm came about after the inventer had a fit of farts and was wondering how he could use the same principals to destroy bigger things than his britches.

could not agree more

05-18-2003, 09:21 PM	#1
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	The Hormone Warning THE HORMONE WARNING Guys always say they don't understand women. Here's a primer to get them started. You might want to print it out and stick it on the fridge as a helpful reminder..... THE HORMONE WARNING: The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other! DANGEROUS: What's for dinner? SAFER: Can I help you with dinner? SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner? ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that? SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown. SAFEST: WOW! Look at you! ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about? SAFER: Could we be overreacting? SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars. ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that? SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left. SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that? ULTRASAFE: Have some chocolate DANGEROUS: What did you do all day? SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today. SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe! ULTRASAFE: Have some more chocolate. Pass this on to all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good Laugh! Or men who need a warning. And remember: Money talks ... but Chocolate sings. :-) -->

05-19-2003, 12:59 AM	#2
pickenup Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains Posts: 6,837	I always bring a bag of "Mountain Man" chocolate peanut clusters home with me from a gun show. Give it to her, THEN talk about guns and such. It helps (sometimes) __________________ The gene pool needs chlorine

05-20-2003, 10:30 AM	#4
riderbob V.I.P. Member Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Just west of " You sure do live a long way from town" Posts: 227	Better than chocolate Hey Guys and Moss I have found something better than chocolate for the monthly PMS thing. It is called sarafem. It is in the prozac family but only taken for 2 weeks of the month. My wife went to the doctor after some uncontrollable emotion fits. (ie Totally freeking out when a mouse is in the kitchen (even hormonal teen daughter thought she was nuts) Then she acts like her best freind died when we caught the mouse and killed it. What a emotional rollor coaster ride that night was.) The doc gave her some samples to try and she will be filling the script as soon as she runs out.This stuff really works. We don't play the lock up the weapons, run and hide game anymore. The chocolate thing still works , but now we get to share. Rider __________________ "I'm not anti-government, I'm anti-slavery."

05-20-2003, 10:53 AM	#5
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Rider, I'm glad your wife has found something to help. My sister's pms was so bad it actually brought on depression. She ended up having a hysterectomy, and is doing great now. Fortunately, most women's pms is not that severe. Mine was barely noticeable at all.... no really!!.... I promise!! Found this on the net... it's an actual product: Attached Images

05-20-2003, 06:20 PM	#6
Smokin Guns Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: "Gun Culture Members Clubhouse"... Posts: 4,463	Hey! Now 'splain this SM. How can all the women's around SG's house all start at different times and slowly...gradually by lunar demand...all gravitate to the same time?...Now folk's this here is a true story!...Law'd a'mercy is the chocolate in demand 'round here...!... __________________

05-19-2003, 11:34 AM	#3
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	According to the latest medical studies, Chocolate is good for you. That same study confirmed that it is even better for you, when you give it to HER.

05-20-2003, 06:44 PM	#7
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	It is in fact true, SG. It's called synchronous menstruation. It occurs with women who spend a lot of time together (sisters, roommates, sometimes even coworkers). Researchers aren't sure what causes it, but believe it's caused by some kind of scent cue, or pheromone. Most women know about this phenomenon, most guys don't, at least in my experience. Glad I could enlighten you.

05-20-2003, 06:55 PM	#8
Smokin Guns Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: "Gun Culture Members Clubhouse"... Posts: 4,463	Yepper's... But SG knew!...Law'd a'mercy I was right all along!...Oooh Rahh!...Hey!...I got pheromone...!... __________________

05-21-2003, 12:24 AM	#9
bigboom338 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: South Dakota Posts: 399	Now I mean no offense to SM cause it is a real pleasure having her in our graces BUT fellas this is The FIREARMS Forrum how in the HE double hockey sticks did we get to PMS ? Maybe we need to add a topic to the forrum and make it fer the wimmen who visit here to answer our questions that we are affraid to ask our wives/girlfriends. It could help us all in the long run. __________________ "Aim Small Miss Small" Last edited by bigboom338; 05-21-2003 at 12:25 AM..

05-21-2003, 07:09 AM	#10
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Hey, all I did was post a joke! But this is the pumphouse after all; I'm not sure what farts have to do with firearms either , but give you guys a few drinks and you'll talk about anything. As for the questions you're afraid to ask your wives/girlfriends... I'll set up a table in the back corner of the pumphouse for advice giving.

05-21-2003, 08:45 AM	#11
bigboom338 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: South Dakota Posts: 399	Thank you SM and I guess when a bunch of guys get together with guns,just about any topic can and usually does pop up. __________________ "Aim Small Miss Small"

05-21-2003, 08:53 AM	#12
warpig Adnanced Senior Member Posts: n/a	I think farts and firearms have everything in common. In fact myth has it the first firearm came about after the inventer had a fit of farts and was wondering how he could use the same principals to destroy bigger things than his britches.