The thrifty wife
A young couple married and went on a nice honeymoon. As they settled in to their room for their first romantic night together, the husband lead his new bride to the bedroom. Before anything could get started, the bride said, "Give me $20." Not wanting to deny his new wife anything, he did.
As the years went by this continued everytime they made love. As soon as the husband got "romantic", his bride asked for $20. He assumed it was her way of getting the money she needed for clothes and anything else she needed.
One day the husband came home drunk. He was in an obvious state of anger and confusion. When his bride asked what was wrong, he sat down and said, "Our company has downsized and the boss let me go. None of us saw it coming. I'm 59 years old, there's no way I'll be able to find a job that will take care of our lifestyle like I've had. Were financially ruined!"
She calmly patted his hand, went to her purse and got out her bankbook. "For these past 30 years, I've been putting away that $20 dollars you've given me, and invested all of it. See what I've done with it."
He looked at the bankbook and saw it had a total of one and a half million dollars in it! He was amazed. "My Lord, if I'd known you were doing that I would have given you all my business!"
Then she shot him.
Alcohol and honesty just don't mix.
The best things in life, are not things.