New Texas Hunting Laws - The Firearms Forum

Gunfyter · 02-23-2006, 07:10 AM

NEW STATE OF TEXAS HUNTING LAWS - ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS

1300.01 GENERAL

1. Any person with a valid Texas State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency
as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck,
remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for
the purpose of trapping attorneys.!
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Porsche or BMW
dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or
vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law
libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.

9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt,
trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug
dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

BAG LIMITS

1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder (2)
2. Two-faced Tortfeasor (3)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator (5)
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut (2)
5.! Honest Attorney - EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat (2)
7. Back-stabbing Whiner (2)
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser (2)
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender - $100 bounty 10. King of Torts --- NO LIMIT

Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A REAL LAW IN TEXAS-For Pure Amusement & Lawyer Bashing
Only. So Don't Sue Me, as my Brother will defend me for free, as he sent me
this.

Marlin · 02-23-2006, 10:14 AM

Ah resemble dem dar woids!!!!!!!!!

SouthernMoss · 02-23-2006, 03:42 PM

inplanotx · 02-24-2006, 07:52 AM

Cute!

02-23-2006, 07:10 AM	#1
Gunfyter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,956	New Texas Hunting Laws NEW STATE OF TEXAS HUNTING LAWS - ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS 1300.01 GENERAL 1. Any person with a valid Texas State hunting license may harvest attorneys. 2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited. 3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash. 4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft. 5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.! 6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Porsche or BMW dealerships. 7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys. 8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals. 9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it. 10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin. 11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys. BAG LIMITS 1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder (2) 2. Two-faced Tortfeasor (3) 3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator (5) 4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut (2) 5.! Honest Attorney - EXTINCT 6. Cut-throat (2) 7. Back-stabbing Whiner (2) 8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser (2) 9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender - $100 bounty 10. King of Torts --- NO LIMIT Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A REAL LAW IN TEXAS-For Pure Amusement & Lawyer Bashing Only. So Don't Sue Me, as my Brother will defend me for free, as he sent me this. __________________ Anything worth shooting once, is worth shooting again. If it ain't broke, break it. Someone needs the work -->

02-23-2006, 10:14 AM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: New Texas Hunting Laws Ah resemble dem dar woids!!!!!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

02-23-2006, 03:42 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: New Texas Hunting Laws __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

02-24-2006, 07:52 AM	#4
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: New Texas Hunting Laws Cute! __________________