Mowing & Beer

[berto64]

Mowing and Beer

On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer
and watching my wife mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came
over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!"
I took a drink from my can of Budweiser, wiped the cold foam from my
lips, lifted my darkened Ray Ban sunglasses and stared directly into
the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied, "I am.
That's why she cuts the grass."

[AL MOUNT]

Good one......

Here's my mowing & beer true story.....

Few years back I had just gotten my new Sears mower with a 18 HP Kohler engine.

Didn't like the fact that when my butt came off the seat the engine would automatically shut down.....

So being the mental giant that I am, I bungeed the seat down.....problem solved....

Few weeks later I was "MWI" (mowing whilst intoxicated).....

While mowing on a hill the whole thing started to tip over ....

1st thing that went thru my mind was "you dummy", them spinnin blades ain't gonna stop......moron.......

cause you bungeed the seat down.....

As she went over, I dove for the saftey of the small saplings in the woods nearby.......

As she tipped , oil went up in the cilinders and she stopped quicker

than a Democrat going to a diversity seminar........

[rooter]

This is kind of a mowing story---no beer but kind'a mowing. When stationed in Port Lyautey Morocco during the late 50's, we were tasked to install anti-sparking devices in the POL (petroleum/oil/lubricants) tankfarm.. Using special non-sparking tools made of brass we worked the valves, pumps, and prime movers to safety specs. The remaining faults/hazards could not be so easily fixed---the tank farm was a fenced-in, bare earth, rocky terrain where a lot of weeds grew----what the hell to do with the rampant vegetation ----non-sparking lawn mowers and even grass whips and scythes were not safe to use....sparks you know....Lots of research was done until finally some seaman apprectice off a sheep ranch in Montana recommended a non-sparking lawn mower he was very used to---sheep. Sheep and goats were herded there all around in Morocco and it didn't take long before that old tank farm looked like a golf course---well, almost----occasionally the old Arab herder would bring in some goats with the sheep--I swear goats will eat even spiney cactus---labels off cans, items of uniforms left laying around---sometimes those goats would climb up on top of the oil tanks themselves....did you know male goats piss in their chin whiskers???? Inquiring minds seek to know this trivia!!! Chief

[stash247]

Chief, I live in Texas, I am white, a minority here, so don't sread this too wide, but even here in town we have more Mexicans, than goats, more goats than taxpayers, and more 'AGG Exeptions', to property taxes, than goats.
When the 'lawnmower ' dies, it's called 'Cabrito'.