Yesterday I was buying a 40.lb bag of Purina Dog Chow (Small Crunchy Bits) at Wal-Mart,
for our 2 large dogs, the Mastiff Leo, and our Belgian Tervern Rebel,
when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think, that I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, being retired and all, on impulse, I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward
with tubes coming out of every hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets
and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me.
I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore. :-(
ps: Leo, at last vet visit, was 200 lbs. 4 oz., Rebel is probably 60+ lb. or so.
501st Parachute Infantry Regiment
101st Airborne Division