NEW STATE OF TEXAS HUNTING LAWS - ATTORNEY SEASON AND BAG LIMITS
1. Any person with a valid Texas State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency
as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck,
remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine,
helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for
the purpose of trapping attorneys.!
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Porsche or BMW
7. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or
vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
8. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law
libraries, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
9. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt,
trap, or possess it.
10. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection
for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
11. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disguise himself as a reporter, drug
dealer, pimp, female legal clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.
1. Yellow Bellied Sidewinder (2)
2. Two-faced Tortfeasor (3)
3. Back-stabbing Divorce Litigator (5)
4. Big-mouthed Pub Gut (2)
5.! Honest Attorney - EXTINCT
6. Cut-throat (2)
7. Back-stabbing Whiner (2)
8. Brown-nosed Judge Kisser (2)
9. Silver-tongued Drug Defender - $100 bounty 10. King of Torts --- NO LIMIT
Disclaimer: THIS IS NOT A REAL LAW IN TEXAS-For Pure Amusement & Lawyer Bashing
Only. So Don't Sue Me, as my Brother will defend me for free, as he sent me