You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . - The Firearms Forum

Mithrandir · 07-05-2005, 09:05 PM

(and a hearty THANKS to Reasonable Rascal for this one)

. . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans.

. . . you call your young apprentice, Juner.(JR.)"

. . . your landspeeder has a gun rack.

. . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy.

. . . your X-Wing has a still in it.

. . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base.

. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill.

. . . you use Jawas for drink holders.

. . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other.

. . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck.

. . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored.

. . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored.

. . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

. . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling.

. . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

. . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery.

. . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids.

. . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power.

. . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer.

. . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

. . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE.

. . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"

. . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.

. . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

. . . wookies are offended by your B.O.

. . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

. . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.

. . . you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle.

. . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon.

. . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder.

. . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.

. . . you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

. . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

. . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

. . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

. . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck.

. . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper.

West · 07-05-2005, 09:34 PM

SouthernMoss · 07-05-2005, 09:37 PM

Marlin · 07-05-2005, 09:55 PM

Sounds real enough for me!!!!!!

berto64 · 07-06-2005, 12:31 PM

inplanotx · 07-06-2005, 06:36 PM

07-05-2005, 09:05 PM	#1
Mithrandir Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Durango Colorado, the right knee-pit of Colorado Posts: 822	You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . (and a hearty THANKS to Reasonable Rascal for this one) . . . that "disturbance in the Force" was just last night's baked beans. . . . you call your young apprentice, Juner.(JR.)" . . . your landspeeder has a gun rack. . . . you call Yoda your Li'l green buddy. . . . your X-Wing has a still in it. . . . your lightsaber has a beer can crusher in the base. . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to light the barbecue grill. . . . you use Jawas for drink holders. . . . you fight with a lightsaber in one hand and a spit cup in the other. . . . you use a Jedi mind trick to stop the beer truck. . . . your Jedi robe is camouflage colored. . . . at least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored. . . . you can easily describe the taste of an Ewok. . . . you have ever used the Force in conjunction with fishing / bowling. . . . your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son, come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot." . . . you jump-start your lightsaber off a car battery. . . . you got your lightsaber by sending in 750 Skoal Lids. . . . you count B.O. as a Jedi power. . . . you have ever used a lightsaber to skin a deer. . . . you have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder. . . . you can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE. . . . your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?" . . . you have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard. . . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters. . . . wookies are offended by your B.O. . . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial. . . . you have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer. . . . you've got a stuffed womp rat from Begger's Canyon on your mantle. . . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon. . . . you have ever used baling wire and/or duct tape to make repairs on your landspeeder. . . . you feel that duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together. . . . you ever heard the phrase, "May the force be with y'all." . . . you have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder. . . . you ever fantasized about Princess Leah wearing Daisy Duke shorts. . . . you have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca. . . . you suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with a redwood deck. . . . you use your lightsabor as a bug zapper. __________________ Esse Quam Vidiri -->

07-05-2005, 09:34 PM	#2
West V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 62	Re: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . __________________ "Friends Dont Let Friends Buy Colts"

07-05-2005, 09:37 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

07-05-2005, 09:55 PM	#4
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . Sounds real enough for me!!!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

07-06-2005, 12:31 PM	#5
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,388	Re: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

07-06-2005, 06:36 PM	#6
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . . __________________