Rules

[Txquadhunter]

The Men's View
> >
> >We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the
> >rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these
> >are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
> >
> >1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
> >put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down.
> >You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
> >
> >1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
> >
> >1. Crying is blackmail.
> >
> >1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints
> >do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
> >Just say it!
> >
> >1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
> >question.
> >
> >1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
> >That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> >1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
> >
> >1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
> >In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
> >
> >1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
> >expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> >1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
> >
> >1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of
> >the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
> >
> >1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
> >it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do
> >it yourself.
> >
> >1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
> >commercials.
> >
> >1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
> >ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
> >Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
> >We have no idea what mauve is.
> >
> >1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
> >
> >1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like
> >nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
> >the hassle.
> >
> >1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
> >answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> >1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
> >to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
> >trucks.
> >
> >1. You have enough clothes.
> >
> >1. You have too many shoes.
> >
> >1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
> >
> >1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
> >couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
> >camping.