It's Crp and Pistol's fault!!

[SouthernMoss]

They complained about being sick while I was on our trip, and now I'm sick. My throat was so raw last night I couldn't sleep, and today my tonsils are so swollen they feel like they're touching. My head hurts, my ears hurt, I have a coughing spell every time I try to talk ... in general, I just feel miserable.

And poor Marlin has to put up with me all weekend.

[rosierita]

i hope you're feeling better SOON!!

[Pistolenschutze]

<-----pleading "nolo contendere" and throwing myself on the mercy of the court!

[Bruce FLinch]

Let's send out a rescue party for Marlin! Marlin! Back away from the sick Lady!

Maybe Rosie can send over..(CHICKEN ) Soup!

Get better SoMo! & don't share your keyboard w/ Marlin..

[catfish83861]

Sorry to hear that your not as chipper as normal but tomorrow I hope your back to feeling great. catfish

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

<-----pleading "nolo contendere" and throwing myself on the mercy of the court!

I, delta13 , WANT TO MAKE THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT UNDER OATH:

that on or about yesterday I observed two funny looking fellows dressed in bad disguises with big wigs and brown bellbottom pants, who I recognized to be Crp and Pistol, who were double dipping nachos into the cheese dip and atleast three times put their heads in the punch bowl and once drank Dr. Pepper directly from the two liter bottle. ------Nothing Follows------

I, delta 13, HAVE READ OR HAVE HAD READ TO ME THIS STATEMENT WHICH BEGINS ON PAGE 1, AND ENDS ON PAGE 1. I FULLY UNDERSTAND THE CONTENTS OF THE ENTIRE STATEMENT MADE BY ME. THE STATEMENT IS TRUE. I HAVE INITIALED ALL CORRECTIONS AND HAVE INITIALED THE BOTTOM OF EACH PAGE
CONTAINING THE STATEMENT. I HAVE MADE THIS STATEMENT FREELY WITHOUT HOPE OF BENEFIT OR REWARD, WITHOUT
THREAT OF PUNISHMENT, AND WITHOUT COERCION, UNLAWFUL INFLUENCE, OR UNLAWFUL INDUCEMENT.

ORGANIZATION OR ADDRESS: *******************

WITNESSES: ***** ******

INITIALS OF PERSON MAKING STATEMENT: d1s

[Pistolenschutze]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

Crp and Pistol, who were double dipping nachos into the cheese dip and atleast three times put their heads in the punch bowl and once drank Dr. Pepper directly from the two liter bottle. ------Nothing Follows------

Donny made me do it!!!!! Besides, the statement doesn't mention that "someone," allegedly the aforementioned affiant, spiked the punch bowl with Irish whiskey! It was entrapment, I say, entrapment!!!!

[Bruce FLinch]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

Donny made me do it!!!!! Besides, the statement doesn't mention that "someone," allegedly the aforementioned affiant, spiked the punch bowl with Irish whiskey! It was entrapment, I say, entrapment!!!!

It's a miniature Right Wing Conspiracy!

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

Donny made me do it!!!!! Besides, the statement doesn't mention that "someone," allegedly the aforementioned affiant, spiked the punch bowl with Irish whiskey! It was entrapment, I say, entrapment!!!!

They expert witnesses shall explain to the court how the alleged spiking of the punch in question with Irish whiskey would be irrelevant because the defendant was already highly intoxicated on Austrian spirits. Futhermore, the affiant at this time has not been charged, and no motoin to merge hearings will be entertained should charges be brought to the affiant.

[delta13soultaker]

And don't try to confuse the jury by claiming there was a third dipper seen crossing the knoll lol

[Bruce FLinch]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

They expert witnesses shall explain to the court how the alleged spiking of the punch in question with Irish whiskey would be irrelevant because the defendant was already highly intoxicated on Austrian spirits. Futhermore, the affiant at this time has not been charged, and no motoin to merge hearings will be entertained should charges be brought to the affiant.

Marlin? Can you translate the Militaristic Jurisdictional Legalspeak?

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Bruce FLinch

Marlin? Can you translate the Militaristic Jurisdictional Legalspeak?

Pistol was already drunk anyway on beer...

Delta hasn't been charged....

Delta will not be tried in the same court as those he testifies against if he is later charged...

[Bruce FLinch]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

Pistol was already drunk anyway on beer...

Delta hasn't been charged....

Delta will not be tried in the same court as those he testifies against if he is later charged...

So...You're a Victim of Circumstances..You had one traumatic experience as a child. Your Mother smoked a cigarette while she was pregnant & your Father never wore a seat belt, while driving to Church..



NOT GUILTY!

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Bruce FLinch

So...You're a Victim of Circumstances..You had one traumatic experience as a child. Your Mother smoked a cigarette while she was pregnant & your Father never wore a seat belt, while driving to Church..



NOT GUILTY!

Yep...now ya gotta take it to civil court lol

[Mosin_Nagant_Fan]

Drink plenty of liquids (limited to water for at least 3 days), keep warm, chicken soup or broth, over the counter cold and flu medicine. Most importantly of all, go see a doctor.

Hope you feel better.

[Pistolenschutze]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

They expert witnesses shall explain to the court how the alleged spiking of the punch in question with Irish whiskey would be irrelevant because the defendant was already highly intoxicated on Austrian spirits. Futhermore, the affiant at this time has not been charged, and no motoin to merge hearings will be entertained should charges be brought to the affiant.

Your honor, defense moves to have the above statement stricken from the record due to gross and willful misrepresentation of facts. The "spirits" to which affiant so carelessly and callously alludes were, in fact, German, not Austrian (empty bottles of DunklesBock submitted herewith as defense exhibit "A"), thus proving affiant's collusion with plaintiff in this matter. Defense further moves that affiant be immediately bound over for trial on a charge of willful perjury under oath.

[Bruce FLinch]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

Your honor, defense moves to have the above statement stricken from the record due to gross and willful misrepresentation of facts. The "spirits" to which affiant so carelessly and callously alludes were, in fact, German, not Austrian (empty bottles of DunklesBock submitted herewith as defense exhibit "A"), thus proving affiant's collusion with plaintiff in this matter. Defense further moves that affiant be immediately bound over for trial on a charge of willful perjury under oath.

This is better than Court TV!

Now let's not let the victim's rights be trampled! Is SoMo feeling any better?

[pickenup]

Feeling better?
Hope so.

[Crpdeth]

Sounds like you got a mild case Ginga...You'll be fine in no time.

Crpdeth

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

Your honor, defense moves to have the above statement stricken from the record due to gross and willful misrepresentation of facts. The "spirits" to which affiant so carelessly and callously alludes were, in fact, German, not Austrian (empty bottles of DunklesBock submitted herewith as defense exhibit "A"), thus proving affiant's collusion with plaintiff in this matter. Defense further moves that affiant be immediately bound over for trial on a charge of willful perjury under oath.

The affiant presents his German ex-girlfriend as expert witness to testify that the affiant believed Austria and Germany to be close enough to be called the same in loose geographic terms due to the fact that the affiant feels the beerwenches look and speek the same way. Further, the affiant has voluntarily provided at his own expense a round of both German an Austrian spirits for the court to sample to verify beyond reasonable doubt the the spirits in question are "close enuff".

[Pistolenschutze]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

The affiant presents his German ex-girlfriend as expert witness to testify that the affiant believed Austria and Germany to be close enough to be called the same in loose geographic terms due to the fact that the affiant feels the beerwenches look and speek the same way. Further, the affiant has voluntarily provided at his own expense a round of both German an Austrian spirits for the court to sample to verify beyond reasonable doubt the the spirits in question are "close enuff".

A blatant attempt at bribery, your honor! Affiant is clearly attempting to sway the court through the willful use of seductive females and copious amounts of highly potable ethanol! It should be evident to the court as well that there is a distinctive difference between mere Austrian Gösser or Trumer Pils, and the much more refined German beers such as Leipziger Gose and Uerige Sticke! Such allegations are a clear affront to the cultural integrity of all consumers of German beer and should be severely punished!

[SouthernMoss]

My throat is better, but now my nose is running like a faucet.



At least I've got delta and Pistol to entertain me between nose blows!

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by Pistolenschutze

A blatant attempt at bribery, your honor! Affiant is clearly attempting to sway the court through the willful use of seductive females and copious amounts of highly potable ethanol! It should be evident to the court as well that there is a distinctive difference between mere Austrian Gösser or Trumer Pils, and the much more refined German beers such as Leipziger Gose and Uerige Sticke! Such allegations are a clear affront to the cultural integrity of all consumers of German beer and should be severely punished!

So you were even more intoxicated in public than originally indicated! And the affiant cannot be blamed if the evidence is potent or the witness seductive. Further, lets let the jury decide the difference between Austrian and German beer Note also a cold rack of red Gaelic Ale has been provided for the jury's further comparison

[delta13soultaker]

Originally Posted by SouthernMoss

My throat is better, but now my nose is running like a faucet.



At least I've got delta and Pistol to entertain me between nose blows!

Anything to cheer ya up

[Pistolenschutze]

Originally Posted by delta13soultaker

So you were even more intoxicated in public than originally indicated! And the affiant cannot be blamed if the evidence is potent or the witness seductive. Further, lets let the jury decide the difference between Austrian and German beer Note also a cold rack of red Gaelic Ale has been provided for the jury's further comparison

Your honor, the defense calls for an immediate mistrial! Clearly the all-male jury has become so intoxicated on potent Gaelic Ale and so beguiled by the outrageously seductive nature of the female witnesses, most of whom are topless and of the 38D persuasion, that a fair verdict could by no means be rendered in this case. Further, the quality of German over Austrian beer is moot in that it is axiomatic. Obviously, no sane connoisseur of fine hops beverages could possibly cast aspersions on the unrivaled quality of German lagers over the anemic Pilsners of Austria!