a couple... - The Firearms Forum

glocknut · 05-15-2009, 10:45 PM

Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway, towards you, what would you do?"

"I would get in my helicopter and fly away," said Douglas.

The doctor then asked, "Where did you get the helicopter from?"

Douglas replied, "Same place you got the freakin' train."

-----------------

My friend, Jack, was driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, when he had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance.

A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location."

Tony answered, "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish."

The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?"

Again Tony answered, "I-75, two miles south of Standish."

There was a longer pause ... Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?"

--------------------

A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, "There’s that woman that the guy next door neighbor is in love with!"

His wife in the kitchen dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window. "Where? Where?" she demanded.

"Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress."

"You idiot! That’s his wife!"

"Yes, I know," the husband said with a satisfied grin. "I just wanted to see how FAST you could run."

-----------------------

A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes.

One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it."

The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it."

Then a third boy piped up, "In the bathroom, we have a little platform with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams, "OH MY GOD!!!"

glocknut · 05-16-2009, 01:15 PM

43 views and not one stinking smiley face?!!!!

mike
gn

bcj1755 · 05-16-2009, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glocknut

43 views and not one stinking smiley face?!!!!

mike
gn

Nighthawk · 05-16-2009, 03:49 PM

glocknut · 05-16-2009, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bcj1755

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Thanks Guys!!!!!!!!!! I appreciate it....

mike
gn

cycloneman · 05-17-2009, 08:32 AM

oscarmayer · 05-18-2009, 04:59 AM

remind me of a guy who had a gold digging wife ... one day she demanded something that went from 0 to 200 in less than 12 seconds.... he bought her a scale

Charlie the sniper · 05-18-2009, 05:09 AM

What do you buy for the woman who's got everything ???? penicillin.

glocknut

graehaven · 05-18-2009, 08:24 AM

Very funny! Thanks!

Tony22-250 · 05-18-2009, 02:17 PM

wow my side hurts now

05-15-2009, 10:45 PM	#1
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	a couple... Douglas was being evaluated for mental problems and was asked by the doctor, "If a train was coming down the hallway, towards you, what would you do?" "I would get in my helicopter and fly away," said Douglas. The doctor then asked, "Where did you get the helicopter from?" Douglas replied, "Same place you got the freakin' train." ----------------- My friend, Jack, was driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, when he had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn't have a CB radio in his car, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call letters and asked for assistance. A Coast Guard officer responded, "Please give your location." Tony answered, "I'm on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish." The officer paused, "Could you repeat that?" Again Tony answered, "I-75, two miles south of Standish." There was a longer pause ... Then an incredulous voice asked, "How fast were you going when you hit shore?" -------------------- A man sitting at the window one evening casually calls to his wife, "There’s that woman that the guy next door neighbor is in love with!" His wife in the kitchen dropped the plate she was drying, ran into the living room, knocked over a vase, and looked out the window. "Where? Where?" she demanded. "Right over there on the corner. The lady in the blue dress." "You idiot! That’s his wife!" "Yes, I know," the husband said with a satisfied grin. "I just wanted to see how FAST you could run." ----------------------- A teacher asked her students what religious objects they had in their homes. One boy answered, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy said, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." Then a third boy piped up, "In the bathroom, we have a little platform with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams, "OH MY GOD!!!" __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone.... -->

05-16-2009, 01:15 PM	#2
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Re: a couple... 43 views and not one stinking smiley face?!!!! mike gn __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone....

05-16-2009, 03:49 PM	#4
Nighthawk Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,330	Re: a couple... __________________ Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." --John Adams, letter to Benjamin Rush, April 18, 1808 NRA Life TSRA Life GOA Member

05-17-2009, 08:32 AM	#6
cycloneman Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Louisiana Posts: 7,428	Re: a couple... __________________ Who are you going to serve today?

05-18-2009, 04:59 AM	#7
oscarmayer Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Contributor Posts: 2,387	Re: a couple... remind me of a guy who had a gold digging wife ... one day she demanded something that went from 0 to 200 in less than 12 seconds.... he bought her a scale

05-18-2009, 05:09 AM	#8
Charlie the sniper Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: England, thats the USN aircraft carrier near europe. Posts: 751	Re: a couple... What do you buy for the woman who's got everything ???? penicillin. glocknut __________________ Never Forget, the price paid for Freedom.

05-18-2009, 08:24 AM	#9
graehaven Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 2,853	Re: a couple... Very funny! Thanks! __________________ The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson RESISTANCE IS FEUDAL... PREPARE TO SERVE.

05-18-2009, 02:17 PM	#10
Tony22-250 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Snellville, GA Posts: 1,146	Re: a couple... wow my side hurts now __________________ Bullets change governments far surer than votes. The most powerful weapon you can buy isn't a .50 caliber. It's a Senate Seat.... "When injustice becomes law, then resistance becomes duty." Thomas Jefferson