Rectum Stretcher - The Firearms Forum

berto64 · 07-11-2008, 11:56 AM

RECTUM STRETCHER
(if you don't laugh at this one, there is something wrong.)

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectu m stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole? ' he asked.

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face................PRICELESS

rooter · 07-11-2008, 01:01 PM

Yeah Berto---that'd make a guy with the bleeding piles giggle!!!! Chief

cohoskip · 07-12-2008, 10:50 AM

07-11-2008, 11:56 AM	#1
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,388	Rectum Stretcher RECTUM STRETCHER (if you don't laugh at this one, there is something wrong.) While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?' To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.' 'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?' I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded. The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectu m stretcher? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?' 'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.' 'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole? ' he asked. 'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...' Traffic Ticket - $95.00 Court Costs - $45.00 Look on the Cop's Face................PRICELESS __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God. -->

07-11-2008, 01:01 PM	#2
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,271	Re: Rectum Stretcher Yeah Berto---that'd make a guy with the bleeding piles giggle!!!! Chief __________________

07-12-2008, 10:50 AM	#3
cohoskip V.I.P. Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Summer: Chimacum, WA; Winter: Casa Grande, AZ Posts: 189	Re: Rectum Stretcher __________________ To err is human, to forgive divine Neither is Marine Corps policy... NRA Life Member