Hillary and Janet
Hillary Clinton and Janet Reno are having a "girl to girl" talk. Hillary says, "You are lucky to not have to put up with all the demands that a man places on you to please him."
Janet replies, "Just because I'm not a beauty doesn't mean I don't have men trying to flirt with me."
"I'm sorry, well, how do you deal with men in that situation?", Hillary replies.
"Well, when I feel a man trying to put me in a compromising position, I just let out a big fart. You'd be surprised how well it works."
That night Hillary was already in bed and she could hear Bill coming up the steps. She knew what Bill would want, and had been planning for this all day. As soon as Bill snuck in and started to slip under the covers, Hillary let out the longest, natiest, fart she could.
Bill stopped, turned over and said, "Janet, is that you?"
The best things in life, are not things.