No need to swear - The Firearms Forum

Bobitis · 06-07-2010, 05:45 PM

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:

She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison."

He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

navis128 · 06-07-2010, 05:52 PM

I'll give you that, but sometimes...it's best if there is no gray area of interpretation lest you misunderstand me.

I have excellent communication skills and I am not muslim...there are not multiple ways of understanding my statements or intentions.

dianalv · 06-07-2010, 06:00 PM

And then there are my favorite insults.....

You, Sir, are a Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker!

You are a zit on the face of humanity, and if you don't leave, I will pop you!

You Ultramaroon!!! (borrowed from the great Bugs Bunny)

Those are the classy ones... then there are the ones I exchange with my son.

You are a Dingleberry swinging on a butt hair! and they go down hill from there.

navis128 · 06-07-2010, 06:02 PM

I AM NOT ALONE

dianalv · 06-07-2010, 06:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by navis128

I AM NOT ALONE

steve666 · 06-09-2010, 07:12 AM

Don't forget these classics:
You are a pimple on the ass of progess.
You are an anal orifice.

armedandsafe · 06-09-2010, 01:05 PM

"I USED to think nobody was willfully stupid."

Pops

06-07-2010, 05:45 PM	#1
Bobitis Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 6,612	No need to swear When Insults Had Class These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it." A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway). "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop "He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912) "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx __________________ ^.^ A point in every direction is the same as having no point at all -->

06-07-2010, 05:52 PM	#2
navis128 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,392	Re: No need to swear I'll give you that, but sometimes...it's best if there is no gray area of interpretation lest you misunderstand me. I have excellent communication skills and I am not muslim...there are not multiple ways of understanding my statements or intentions. __________________ A British general reported to London that the rebels, though untrained, had earned his respect: "Whoever looks upon them as an irregular mob will find himself much mistaken." "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security." The Declaration of Independence Last edited by navis128; 06-07-2010 at 05:54 PM..

06-07-2010, 06:00 PM	#3
dianalv Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Las Vegas, Nevada Posts: 1,160	Re: No need to swear And then there are my favorite insults..... You, Sir, are a Yellow Bellied Sap Sucker! You are a zit on the face of humanity, and if you don't leave, I will pop you! You Ultramaroon!!! (borrowed from the great Bugs Bunny) Those are the classy ones... then there are the ones I exchange with my son. You are a Dingleberry swinging on a butt hair! and they go down hill from there.

06-07-2010, 06:02 PM	#4
navis128 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,392	Re: No need to swear I AM NOT ALONE __________________ A British general reported to London that the rebels, though untrained, had earned his respect: "Whoever looks upon them as an irregular mob will find himself much mistaken." "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security." The Declaration of Independence

06-09-2010, 07:12 AM	#6
steve666 V.I.P. Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Indianapolis, IN Posts: 231	Re: No need to swear Don't forget these classics: You are a pimple on the ass of progess. You are an anal orifice. __________________ An armed society is a polite society.

06-09-2010, 01:05 PM	#7
armedandsafe Former Guest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Moses Lake, WA Posts: 10,344	Re: No need to swear "I USED to think nobody was willfully stupid." Pops