Life Explained. - The Firearms Forum

Zane71464 · 02-22-2010, 11:06 AM

ON the first day,
God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day,
God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day,
God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.... How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day,
God created humans and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God,
'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves ... For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family ... For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren ... And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.

carver · 02-22-2010, 11:32 AM

I guess I'm at the barking stage! Wish I had done things differently back when I was in the eat, sleep, and enjoy myself stage! And why does hind sight have to be 20/20? WUWT?

Double D · 02-22-2010, 11:37 AM

Enjoy the first 20 years? I wouldnt ever want to re-live those years. Matter of fact, I wish I could forget them.

retired grunt · 02-22-2010, 03:40 PM

There was a first twenty years?

02-22-2010, 11:06 AM	#1
Zane71464 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Ohio NRA Member Contributor Posts: 5,371	Life Explained. ON the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family.. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years.... How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created humans and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves ... For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family ... For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren ... And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. __________________ Two Words; "Simple Man", song by Charlie Daniels sums up my thoughts on a "few things"! -->

02-22-2010, 11:32 AM	#2
carver TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of East Texas, just west of Shreveport, LA Contributor Posts: 11,288	Re: Life Explained. I guess I'm at the barking stage! Wish I had done things differently back when I was in the eat, sleep, and enjoy myself stage! And why does hind sight have to be 20/20? WUWT? __________________ Y'all be safe now, ya hear! Lamentations Chapter 5: 1. Remember, O LORD, what is come upon us: consider, and behold our reproach. 2. Our inheritance is turned to strangers, our houses to aliens. 3. We are orphans and fatherless, our mothers [are] as widows. 5. Our necks [are] under persecution: we labour, [and] have no rest. 16. The crown is fallen [from] our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned! 21. Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.

02-22-2010, 11:37 AM	#3
Double D TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: North Florida Contributor Posts: 8,085	Re: Life Explained. Enjoy the first 20 years? I wouldnt ever want to re-live those years. Matter of fact, I wish I could forget them. __________________ I own a bunch of scary guns. You want em? Come and take em..... Liberalism is a serious, non curable, mental disorder... NRA LIFE MEMBER Oath Keepers Member NRA Certified Instructor 30 Yr CC permit holder.

02-22-2010, 03:40 PM	#4
retired grunt V.I.P. Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Northern NY Posts: 416	Re: Life Explained. There was a first twenty years?