Marine Corps bans audible "windpassing" in Afghanistan

[jack404]

Washington:- The United States Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military and members of the Afghan National Army.

The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle recently posted the news that "audible farting has been banned for some Marines downrange because it offends the Afghans."

The ban has caused a stir among former and current members of the military who question the reasoning behind the decision which has ignited a firestorm of comments from readers and fellow bloggers of Battle Rattle.

Military soldiers have already been required to obey regulations ordering them to not curse around members of the Afghan army or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders to not discuss women or politics with people from Afghanistan. But for now, breaking wind could earn them an appearance before their superior officers.

For the military that means no more gas blasters, bean bombers, flame-throwers or anal acoustics at night. The roar of morning thunder, air biscuits or flatulence by any name will no longer be tolerated. Anything but an inaudible passing of gas could get you in trouble if it's within earshot of an Afghani, according to Battle Rattle.

Blogger Gina Cavallaro writes about the ban on the offensive behaviour:
They’re not supposed to cuss because it could be misunderstood (that one goes out the window a lot). And they stay away from talking about politics, religion or girls because those topics could escalate into major disagreements (they can’t communicate anyway because of the language barrier).
But farting? That’s practically a sport. Ok, it’s not soccer, but a good contest could open the door for cross-cultural exchanges, jokes and other gallows humor.

Jim Campbell expressed his outrage over the decision by senior military officials and wrote: "So now we understand that Muslims in Afghanistan are offended by the sound of anal gas explosions but are quite comfortable with, beheading, stoning, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, amputations, and hanging or burning homosexuals."

A few commenter's asked, "What would Chesty think of this ban on farting?" Referring to Lieutenant General Lewis B. 'Chesty' Puller, the most highly decorated Marine in the history of the Corps. Puller, who was known a marine's Marine, had a no-nonsense attitude when it came to military conduct. He is known to every Marine who ever came out of Parris Island and served in the Corps.
Dian5 said, "Is this perfectly normal human function offensive only when it escapes from the body of an American? Are the natural born Afghanistan people immune from this digestive dilemma? If we are at the point in our relationship where this has become too offensive to ignore, then perhaps we have worn out our welcome and should immediately withdraw our troops."
The ban on farting has not been confirmed by the military and no mention of flatulence could be found in the Uniform Code of Military Justice.


Read more: http://digitaljournal.com/article/310782#ixzz1udMiqNEL

[Jerryboy]

the reason the Marines aren't allowed to fart anymore is because the gas created by a U.S. Marine is so potent that it violates the Geneva Convention

[whymememe]

Farting is the sign of a healthy digestive system, it goes against nature to stiffle a fart. Islam is totally wrong on this one.

[jack404]

this aint being driven by islamists from what i hear ... this is being driven by apologuists ,

non muslin PC suck ups

[Guts3d]

"The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind.... The answer is blowin' in the wind" with apologies to Bob Dylan.

[Redhand]

So thats why the Anal-Optic nerve is the longest nerve in the human body. The Rags must be gifted with an exceptional long one that makes them have a dailey shitty outlook on life.

[Iron Eagle]

Thanks for the laughs. I needed that!

[RunningOnMT]

This IS a joke, right?

[RunningOnMT]

If true, this begs a number of questions, such as:

Are SBD's allowed?

Is the Army still allowed to fart?

Can Marines still piss on dead Taliban?


Of course you all know this will only lead to requests for cans of beans from home.

[ampaterry]

Looks like it is legit, Jack -

I found it in the Military Times HERE.

[armoredman]

Sooo, we need to do a massive care package to the Marines full of Bush's Baked Beans...
That is the stupidest thing I ever heard of, and I would welcome the courts martial on that one, to expose an impossibility - ordering me to do something that is required by my body for healthy living, a natural biological function that cannot be regulated. Might as well order them to not breathe while near a native for fear MRE breath might offend them.

[BlackEagle]

Now they need to become "silent but deadly" in more ways than one.

[Insulation Tim]

These cultured individuals that we seem to offend all of the time....are they not the same people who have a "Food" hand and a "Dung" hand? Give me a break!!!!!

[Kevin Rohrer]

People who wipe their ass w/ their hand are offended?!!!

It has to be April 1st--right???!!!!

[Brass Tacks]

are the Marines going to start issuing ass suppressors?

[ryan42]

I about got fired from my job 20 years ago for farting in the office at stanley steemer.By the way when the boss was yelling at me I respectfully said I just let a Stanley steemer.He did not think I was funny at all so a few minutes later when it built up again I stood at the door with my butt pointed out the door and let it go.He was so pissed I said,hey i let it outside.I would say one more I would have been out the door.Hey that ryhmed.Lol

[ryan42]

I about got fired from my job 20 years ago for farting in the office at stanley steemer.By the way when the boss was yelling at me I respectfully said I just let a Stanley steemer.He did not think I was funny at all so a few minutes later when it built up again I stood at the door with my butt pointed out the door and let it go.He was so pissed I said,hey i let it outside.I would say one more I would have been out the door.Hey that ryhmed.Lol

[raven818]

Shoulder patch?

[jack404]

Pork eating wind passing infidel and proud , sorry folks

[Ed Wagner]

Telling marines they can't fart is like telling the wind not to blow. Anyone stupid enough to try an enforce this idiocy should be put behind a platoon after bean soup and beer for the troops and given a THUNDERING SALUTE.

[H-D]

that's the stupidest thing I have heard today, highly trained killing machines, Men called Devil-Dogs. Leathernecks can't FART out loud? I HATE PC BULL CRAP!!! these people wipe with their left hand, not with paper with their hand! our Marines can't fart around them?

[Buckshot]

Reason #4,526 to get every last American and coalition member the hell out of Afghanistan and let that worthless stinking pile of rubble retreat to the 13th century. (Back almost five years.) If it gives us any more trouble, carpet bomb the whole f***ing place from 40,000 feet (bomb manufacturing, three shifts, seven days, creates jobs for Americans!) and keep our people off the ground. The entire population isn't worth the life of a single American Marine.