Bobitis is just on Sabbatical
A New Threat to America’s Health:
Bobitis (Inflictum Marshallictus)
The following article from the Journal of American Medicine examines a new infectious
disease that is terrifying in its intensity and apparent incurability. The National Institute of
Health (NIH) and the National Center for Disease Control in Atlanta have initiated
emergency research efforts to study the disease and develop possible treatment
Symptoms and Effects of the Disease
Bobitis is characterized first and foremost by an intense and aching desire to be in
the Bob Marshall Wilderness (“The Bob”), which pervades the infected person’s
entire being at every waking moments and most of his/her dreams.
All other aspects of life become subjugated to the disease, and decisions are made
from only two perspectives:
a) “It increases the time I can spend in The Bob.”
b) “It interferes with my spending time in The Bob.”
Only option a) is considered viable; decisions that fall into category b) are rejected
out of hand. Decisions that fall into neither category are of no interest to the
infected, and are typically not made – to the utter bewilderment and infuriation of
those involved with the diseased.
Any suggestion to the infected that not all is well, and that he might seek treatment
is met with hostility and angry outbursts: “There’s nothing wrong with me! It’s a
spiritual thing; I feel sorry for you that you don’t get it!,” or “I can handle it,” or “I
can stop anytime, I just don’t want to,” etc.
Thus Bobitis wreaks havoc on the life of the afflicted and his/her family,
something that the infected is totally unaware of and cannot be made to care about.
The infected will typically reject major promotions and professional opportunities
with the following reasoning: “What do I care if it’s three times the money? It’s
more responsibility, and I couldn’t get away for a ten-day packtrip.”
"ozo. you're off your rocker sir." -johnlives4christ