Highboy....... - The Firearms Forum

Country101 · 10-13-2012, 07:37 PM

Are ya dead......?

How'd your surgery go?

JLA · 10-13-2012, 07:53 PM

Yeah. Aint heard from ya.. BTW, your honorary brisket was delicious!

time2shoot · 10-13-2012, 08:11 PM

he has poped in and out a couple times.
I'm shure the pain pills keep him realy tiered. Give him a couple days he will be back on making every one laugh.
thinking of ya bud get well soon.

76Highboy · 10-13-2012, 08:23 PM

Thanks for asking. 68 woke me, and then JLA woke me so I figured maybe there was a troll that needed smacking around on the forum so I thought I would get on here too see what was up.

I am in a lot of pain. Talking, coughing, hick-ups, or sneezing hurts. The surgeon said my stomach was up into my upper chest cavity so that is why my surgery took longer then it should of.

Now come on, lets hear some nursing home joke's.

time2shoot · 10-13-2012, 08:28 PM

76highboy was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked.

He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn.

The director said, "Yes" and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale.

Hows that?

76Highboy · 10-13-2012, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by time2shoot

76highboy was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked.

He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn.

The director said, "Yes" and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale.

Hows that?

Stop it. Stop it. That stresses my stitches.

If my wife comes home and sees me laughing I am in big trouble.

time2shoot · 10-13-2012, 08:32 PM

76Highboy has a bumper sticker on his car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' It's hard to think of my dear old Friend in that way. What is he doing? Out entering wet pants contests? Geting his nails done? Wheelchair racing? Teeth swapping? Makes me wonder where he got that ten dollar bill for some thin mint?

time2shoot · 10-13-2012, 08:33 PM

Ok I'm done................ For now.

76Highboy · 10-13-2012, 08:34 PM

Your cracking me up. These narcotics sure mess with ya.

gvw3 · 10-13-2012, 09:00 PM

Glad to hear you are out and all went well.

68c15 · 10-13-2012, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by time2shoot

Ok I'm done................ For now.

dont stop, go get him bud. since he is down we have our opportunity.

76Highboy · 10-14-2012, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 68c15

dont stop, go get him bud. since he is down we have our opportunity.

1969SS396 · 10-14-2012, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 76Highboy

Now come on, lets hear some joke's.

A Priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, he was delayed, so the Priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'...

Just as the Priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

'I'll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.'

Moral of the story : Never, Never, Never Be Late

woolleyworm · 10-14-2012, 02:35 PM

Highboy Settles in at the Nursing Home

One evening a wife brings her frail, grumpy ole'man to a nursing home and leaves him as planned, hoping he will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathes him, feeds him a tasty breakfast, and sets him in a chair at a window over-looking a lovely flower garden.
He seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to lean over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the ole'man is adjusting to the nursing home. "So Highboy, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

.
.
.
.
.
.

"It's pretty nice," he replies. "Except they won't let me fart."

76Highboy · 10-14-2012, 04:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by woolleyworm

Highboy Settles in at the Nursing Home

One evening a wife brings her frail, grumpy ole'man to a nursing home and leaves him as planned, hoping he will be well cared for.
The next morning, the nurses bathes him, feeds him a tasty breakfast, and sets him in a chair at a window over-looking a lovely flower garden.
He seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to lean over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright.
This goes on all morning.
Later the family arrives to see how the ole'man is adjusting to the nursing home. "So Highboy, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

.
.
.
.
.
.

"It's pretty nice," he replies. "Except they won't let me fart."

That's funny woolleyworm.

JLA · 10-14-2012, 04:47 PM

You know.. I was just reading that.. I began to wonder why you instinctively lean over to fart. or if youre standing you slightly raise your leg.. anyway. Couple minutes later one came a knockin so i intentionally sat still and didnt lean over in my chair to rip it.. Well, I quickly figured out why you instictlively lean over to fart.. It kinda hurts if you dont..

geds · 10-14-2012, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLA

You know.. I was just reading that.. I began to wonder why you instinctively lean over to fart. or if youre standing you slightly raise your leg.. anyway. Couple minutes later one came a knockin so i intentionally sat still and didnt lean over in my chair to rip it.. Well, I quickly figured out why you instictlively lean over to fart.. It kinda hurts if you dont..

that's why they call it ripping one!

geds · 10-14-2012, 05:58 PM

I heard Jimboy streaked through the little old ladies' flower arranging class at the nursing home. When he made it back to his room, he had a blue ribbon around his neck - seems he won Best Dried Arrangement!

time2shoot · 10-14-2012, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geds

I heard Jimboy streaked through the little old ladies' flower arranging class at the nursing home. When he made it back to his room, he had a blue ribbon around his neck - seems he won Best Dried Arrangement!

OH OUCH.
I'll beat highboy to it.

76Highboy · 10-14-2012, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by time2shoot

OH OUCH.
I'll beat highboy to it.

Sure, laugh at a crippled man.

time2shoot · 10-14-2012, 07:55 PM

76Highboy · 10-14-2012, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by time2shoot

ok.

I have felt like barfing all weekend, but at least I'm getting some good laughing in.

JLA · 10-14-2012, 08:14 PM

strengthen those stomach muscles back up.

BTW, youd a loved dinner at my house tonight.. We had Butterflied pork loin, seasoned and grilled to perfection and sliced up for some high end fajitas.

76Highboy · 10-15-2012, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLA

strengthen those stomach muscles back up.

BTW, youd a loved dinner at my house tonight.. We had Butterflied pork loin, seasoned and grilled to perfection and sliced up for some high end fajitas.

Boy howdy, that sure would have went well with my tapioca pudding, slimfast, and my blended chicken soup.

Country101 · 10-15-2012, 10:20 AM

Hmmm.....I think I'll have some deer steak tonight fried up popcorn chicken style....... And some fried taters too. Dont think that would do too well in a blender, but I'll be sure to give you an update on how it is nonblended.

10-13-2012, 07:37 PM	#1
Country101 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dardanelle, AR Contributor Posts: 2,028	Highboy....... Are ya dead......? How'd your surgery go? __________________ Gainfully employed= shooting somebody elses bullets and getting paid for it Country101 -->

10-13-2012, 07:53 PM	#2
JLA TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Heart Of Texas Contributor Posts: 17,319	Re: Highboy....... Yeah. Aint heard from ya.. BTW, your honorary brisket was delicious! __________________ It takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 3 for proper trigger squeeze. The latest caliber or gear is no substitute for experience and skill. Rifles and cartridges don't make hits -- shooters do. Fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!

10-13-2012, 08:11 PM	#3
time2shoot Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Brandon SD Contributor Posts: 2,600	Re: Highboy....... he has poped in and out a couple times. I'm shure the pain pills keep him realy tiered. Give him a couple days he will be back on making every one laugh. thinking of ya bud get well soon. __________________ I AM A VETERAN MY OATH OF ENLISTMENT HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!

10-13-2012, 08:23 PM	#4
76Highboy Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Meridian, Idaho Contributor Posts: 6,968	Re: Highboy....... Thanks for asking. 68 woke me, and then JLA woke me so I figured maybe there was a troll that needed smacking around on the forum so I thought I would get on here too see what was up. I am in a lot of pain. Talking, coughing, hick-ups, or sneezing hurts. The surgeon said my stomach was up into my upper chest cavity so that is why my surgery took longer then it should of. Now come on, lets hear some nursing home joke's.

10-13-2012, 08:28 PM	#5
time2shoot Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Brandon SD Contributor Posts: 2,600	Re: Highboy....... 76highboy was out walking one day and went by a retirement home. As he passed the front lawn, he saw nine old ladies basking in the sun in lounge chairs. When he looked closer he realized that they were all stark naked. He went to the door and rang the bell. When the director answered the door, the man asked if he realized there were nine naked old ladies lying in the sun on the front lawn. The director said, "Yes" and went on to explain that the old ladies were all retired prostitutes living at the retirement home, and they were having a yard sale. Hows that? __________________ I AM A VETERAN MY OATH OF ENLISTMENT HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!

10-13-2012, 08:32 PM	#7
time2shoot Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Brandon SD Contributor Posts: 2,600	Re: Highboy....... 76Highboy has a bumper sticker on his car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' It's hard to think of my dear old Friend in that way. What is he doing? Out entering wet pants contests? Geting his nails done? Wheelchair racing? Teeth swapping? Makes me wonder where he got that ten dollar bill for some thin mint? __________________ I AM A VETERAN MY OATH OF ENLISTMENT HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!

10-13-2012, 08:33 PM	#8
time2shoot Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Brandon SD Contributor Posts: 2,600	Re: Highboy....... Ok I'm done................ For now. __________________ I AM A VETERAN MY OATH OF ENLISTMENT HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!

10-13-2012, 08:34 PM	#9
76Highboy Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Meridian, Idaho Contributor Posts: 6,968	Re: Highboy....... Your cracking me up. These narcotics sure mess with ya.

10-13-2012, 09:00 PM	#10
gvw3 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Chicago IL Area Contributor Posts: 3,301	Re: Highboy....... Glad to hear you are out and all went well. __________________ Criminals advocate stronger gun laws to foster a safer work environment. This limits their exposure to risk.

10-14-2012, 02:35 PM	#14
woolleyworm TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: SW Fort Worth Contributor Posts: 4,883	Re: Highboy....... Highboy Settles in at the Nursing Home One evening a wife brings her frail, grumpy ole'man to a nursing home and leaves him as planned, hoping he will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathes him, feeds him a tasty breakfast, and sets him in a chair at a window over-looking a lovely flower garden. He seems OK, but after a while he slowly starts to lean over sideways in his chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch him and straighten him up. Again he seems OK, but after a while he starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring him back upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see how the ole'man is adjusting to the nursing home. "So Highboy, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. . . . . . . "It's pretty nice," he replies. "Except they won't let me fart." __________________ . What are you gonna do, talk the alien to death? -- (on Sigourney Weaver's worry about Guns in Aliens) "Safety is something that happens between your ears, not something you hold in your hands." "I carry a small gun to compensate for my huge Blue press." .

10-14-2012, 04:47 PM	#16
JLA TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Heart Of Texas Contributor Posts: 17,319	Re: Highboy....... You know.. I was just reading that.. I began to wonder why you instinctively lean over to fart. or if youre standing you slightly raise your leg.. anyway. Couple minutes later one came a knockin so i intentionally sat still and didnt lean over in my chair to rip it.. Well, I quickly figured out why you instictlively lean over to fart.. It kinda hurts if you dont.. __________________ It takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 3 for proper trigger squeeze. The latest caliber or gear is no substitute for experience and skill. Rifles and cartridges don't make hits -- shooters do. Fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!

10-14-2012, 05:58 PM	#18
geds Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2011 Posts: 3,706	Re: Highboy....... I heard Jimboy streaked through the little old ladies' flower arranging class at the nursing home. When he made it back to his room, he had a blue ribbon around his neck - seems he won Best Dried Arrangement! __________________ "Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." - Mark Twain

10-14-2012, 07:55 PM	#21
time2shoot Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Brandon SD Contributor Posts: 2,600	Re: Highboy....... ok. __________________ I AM A VETERAN MY OATH OF ENLISTMENT HAS NO EXPIRATION DATE!

10-14-2012, 08:14 PM	#23
JLA TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Heart Of Texas Contributor Posts: 17,319	Re: Highboy....... strengthen those stomach muscles back up. BTW, youd a loved dinner at my house tonight.. We had Butterflied pork loin, seasoned and grilled to perfection and sliced up for some high end fajitas. __________________ It takes 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 3 for proper trigger squeeze. The latest caliber or gear is no substitute for experience and skill. Rifles and cartridges don't make hits -- shooters do. Fact of life: After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF!

10-15-2012, 10:20 AM	#25
Country101 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dardanelle, AR Contributor Posts: 2,028	Re: Highboy....... Hmmm.....I think I'll have some deer steak tonight fried up popcorn chicken style....... And some fried taters too. Dont think that would do too well in a blender, but I'll be sure to give you an update on how it is nonblended. __________________ Gainfully employed= shooting somebody elses bullets and getting paid for it Country101