Divorce Agreement

[montezumaz]

http://gop-tea-pub.tumblr.com/post/3...orce-agreement

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:
We have stuck together since the late 1950’s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is a our separation agreement:
—Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.
—We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
—You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
—Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
—We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
—You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
—We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Walmart and Wall Street.
—You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
—We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
—We’ll keep Bill O’Reilly, Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.
—You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
—You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security.
—We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
—You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the UN but we will no longer be paying the bill.
—We’ll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and over-sized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
—You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
—We’ll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.
—We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
—I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine,” “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing,” “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World.”
—We’ll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
—Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.
Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
PS. Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin and Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand and Hanoi Jane Fonda with you.
PPS. And you won’t have to press 1 for English when you call our country.

[Twicepop]

Theres more truth to what you're saying than most people can realize. A newspaper article was published about 10-12 years ago. It stated that because of the divisive and polarizing political beliefs in this country, that an equal and separate split will be the only to save our country without going through another civil disturbance. Each side must agree to an amicable split, with each side being the equal to the other, and to allow free travel and trade between the two opposing sides, and one side not being able to dictate terms to the other. Taxes and social programs will be payed for by the citizens of each side, for the side that they choose to live in, and no tributes can or will be collected from an opposing side to pay for programs from the other. Those that want to live in their socialist utopia may do so at their choosing, and those that want to live in a capitalist society will have that option also.

[Carne Frio]

I think a civil war or revolution to be much more likely
to happen than some sort of peaceful and amicable split.
There is so much fear, hate and anger in our society.

[Twicepop]

Originally Posted by Carne Frio

I think a civil war or revolution to be much more likely
to happen than some sort of peaceful and amicable split.
There is so much fear, hate and anger in our society.

In reality, I think you are right.

[WHSmithIV]

The other problem is that how can the amicable split work with Commiefornia on one side and Nuts York on the other?

[stumpjumper]

they can make new joke a territory like Guam. Bloomberg would love to be an imperial ruler

[Sgt 45]

Civil War II will not be pretty, I would hope that the outcome would be the complete decimation of progressives et al.

[tango1niner]

Montezumaz, sound like a good deal !

[jstgsn]

I believe the libs will fight this divorse and seperation. Whose money would they spend? I look at it more like this. Liberalism is a desease. You don't divorse a desease, you fight it until one side wins. Unfortunatly.......