Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW - The Firearms Forum

powdersmoke · 06-28-2004, 09:44 PM

http://www.poopreport.com/Debate/Content/folding.html

glocknut · 06-28-2004, 10:09 PM

Mild compared to some of the sites I look at.

You ain't seen nuthin until you've seen this chick with her pet Orangutan.....

mike
gn

SouthernMoss · 06-28-2004, 10:09 PM

And just HOW did you happen to come across such a site in the first place??

glocknut · 06-28-2004, 10:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernMoss

And just HOW did you happen to come across such a site in the first place??

I was trying to see if there was an online Donkey show.....

Did'nt wanna travel all the way to Tijuana, don't ya know.

mike
gn

FrancF · 06-28-2004, 10:13 PM

LOL

Sorry if this one is out of line. I die laughing every time I see this.

How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.

ESCAPEE.
Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE).
Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH.
Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

WALK OF SHAME.
Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER.
Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN).
Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

SAFE HAVENS.
Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR:
Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH.
Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE.
Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON.
Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET.
Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TED.
Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.

FLY BY.
Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

glocknut · 06-28-2004, 10:43 PM

LOL hehehehe.......

Just my kinda thread !!!

mike
gn

Hydra Shok · 06-28-2004, 11:14 PM

Hmmm, which pic to post?? Ahhhh, I know the perfect one!

woodsrunner · 06-29-2004, 12:28 AM

Good one. You'll like this one too.

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

1952Sniper · 06-29-2004, 07:35 AM

Man, this board is going downhill FAST.

ducky · 06-29-2004, 09:12 AM

there is also www.ratemypoo.com , just to add my $0.02

this one not being for the faint of heart..

BlueTic · 06-29-2004, 09:40 AM

Yepppp - right in the toilet!!!!!

SouthernMoss · 06-29-2004, 10:26 AM

Moved to the Pumphouse.... somehow thatt seems more appropriate.

glocknut · 06-29-2004, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernMoss

Moved to the Pumphouse.... somehow thatt seems more appropriate.

Not only am i surprised that I did'nt get in trouble for my participation, but also that this thread merely got "moved".....

WOW !!!

mike
gn

jjmitchell60 · 06-30-2004, 03:40 PM

First of all my dang sides are hurting, some of you are lunatics ( whay were you looking at that site in the first place), moving this was the right thing to do but I believ it needs to be in the out house, and lastly my hat goes off to all of you. This board has gone down the toilet and man do I like it!

Seriously, my sides are hurting so bad it is not funny. Tears in my eye! Let me just finish ith a short poem that adorned our bathroom wall in the factory I used to work at:
Here I sit all broken hearted,
Tried to crap but only farted,
Then one day I took a chance,
Tried to fart but crapped my pants!

dcon12 · 06-30-2004, 04:46 PM

I was sitting in a stall at a truckstop doing what comes natural and noticed some writing at the bottom of the wall. As I leaned over to read it , it said
"If you can read this, you are shitting at a 45degree angle". Don

06-28-2004, 09:44 PM	#1
powdersmoke V.I.P. Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Brooksville, FL Posts: 109	Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW http://www.poopreport.com/Debate/Content/folding.html __________________ "Molon Labe" www.whyemier.1accesshost.com -->

06-28-2004, 10:09 PM	#2
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Mild compared to some of the sites I look at. You ain't seen nuthin until you've seen this chick with her pet Orangutan..... mike gn __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone....

06-28-2004, 10:09 PM	#3
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW And just HOW did you happen to come across such a site in the first place?? __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

06-28-2004, 10:13 PM	#5
FrancF V.I.P. Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Kalifornia Posts: 105	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW LOL Sorry if this one is out of line. I die laughing every time I see this. How to Poop at Work We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the 2001 Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure. ESCAPEE. Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy. JAILBREAK (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE). Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred. COURTESY FLUSH. Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. WALK OF SHAME. Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH. OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER. Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN). Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. SAFE HAVENS. Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom. TURD BURGLAR: Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact. CAMO-COUGH. Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE. ASTAIRE. Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace. WATERMELON. Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH. HAVANA OMELET. Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire. UNCLE TED. Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees. FLY BY. Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

06-28-2004, 10:43 PM	#6
glocknut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: THE FORUM MASCOTT... Posts: 12,482	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW LOL hehehehe....... Just my kinda thread !!! mike gn __________________ Where O where are you tonight? Why have you gone and left me alone? I searched to world over and a thought i found true love... You met another and PTThhh you were gone....

06-28-2004, 11:14 PM	#7
Hydra Shok Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Chasing my Seven Year Old Posts: 724	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Hmmm, which pic to post?? Ahhhh, I know the perfect one! Attached Images __________________ If you can't impress them with intelligence, baffle them with BS American by birth, Southern by the grace of God Do unto others before they do unto you "Most importantly, when the time comes to pull the trigger, shoot to kill." ~ Robert H. Boatman Glock 17, 19, 26 Kel Tec 3AT Last edited by Hydra Shok; 06-28-2004 at 11:15 PM..

06-29-2004, 12:28 AM	#8
woodsrunner V.I.P. Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Hamlin, NY Posts: 276	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Good one. You'll like this one too. http://www.heptune.com/farts.html __________________ woods

06-29-2004, 07:35 AM	#9
1952Sniper Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 5,138	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Man, this board is going downhill FAST.

06-29-2004, 09:12 AM	#10
ducky V.I.P. Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Tejas Posts: 271	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW there is also www.ratemypoo.com , just to add my $0.02 this one not being for the faint of heart.. Last edited by ducky; 06-29-2004 at 09:12 AM..

06-29-2004, 09:40 AM	#11
BlueTic Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: WA Posts: 652	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Yepppp - right in the toilet!!!!! __________________ If you don't like my rights - please leave my country!

06-29-2004, 10:26 AM	#12
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW Moved to the Pumphouse.... somehow thatt seems more appropriate. __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

06-30-2004, 03:40 PM	#14
jjmitchell60 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raised in Buzzard Roost near Frog Town in hillls of Kentucky Contributor Posts: 1,471	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW First of all my dang sides are hurting, some of you are lunatics ( whay were you looking at that site in the first place), moving this was the right thing to do but I believ it needs to be in the out house, and lastly my hat goes off to all of you. This board has gone down the toilet and man do I like it! Seriously, my sides are hurting so bad it is not funny. Tears in my eye! Let me just finish ith a short poem that adorned our bathroom wall in the factory I used to work at: Here I sit all broken hearted, Tried to crap but only farted, Then one day I took a chance, Tried to fart but crapped my pants! __________________ Oath Keepers NOT ON OUR WATCH www.oathkeepers.org 2nd Amendment to the US Constitution: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. "Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote." -- Benjamin Franklin When injustice becomes law, resistance becomes Duty... Thomas Jefferson

06-30-2004, 04:46 PM	#15
dcon12 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Albany, Ga. Posts: 1,128	Re: Yes you can find anything on the web. EEEYYYEEEEWWWW I was sitting in a stall at a truckstop doing what comes natural and noticed some writing at the bottom of the wall. As I leaned over to read it , it said "If you can read this, you are shitting at a 45degree angle". Don __________________ "I wouldn't mind being the last man on Earth-just to see if all those girls were telling me the truth."