Great Truths - The Firearms Forum

Gunfyter · 11-10-2004, 12:07 PM

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller
coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

SouthernMoss · 11-10-2004, 03:09 PM

All true!

358 winchester · 11-10-2004, 04:18 PM

Yep that about sums it up

Marlin · 11-10-2004, 05:07 PM

Pretty much says it all!!!!!!

ibtrukn · 11-11-2004, 08:39 AM

IB got sum frens dat go all da way-----------Dats GINA not Gino, stoonod!!

IShootBack · 11-11-2004, 04:11 PM

11-10-2004, 12:07 PM	#1
Gunfyter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,956	Great Truths GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato. 5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food. 6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair. 7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time. 8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. 9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. 10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap. GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED: 1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree. 2) Wrinkles don't hurt. 3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts. 4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. 5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside. 6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, ! but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE: 1) You believe in Santa Claus. 2) You don't believe in Santa Claus. 3) You are Santa Claus. 4) You look like Santa Claus. SUCCESS: At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants. At age 12 success is . . having friends. At age 16 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 20 success is . . going all the way. At age 35 success is . . having money. At age 50 success is . . having money. At age 60 success is . . going all the way. At age 70 success is . . having a drivers license. At age 75 success is . . having friends. At age 80 success is . . not peeing in your pants. __________________ Anything worth shooting once, is worth shooting again. If it ain't broke, break it. Someone needs the work -->

11-10-2004, 03:09 PM	#2
SouthernMoss Admin Tech Staff Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: SW MS Contributor Posts: 10,651	Re: Great Truths All true! __________________ My Second protects your First "I declare to you that woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself, and there I take my stand." - Susan B Anthony

11-10-2004, 04:18 PM	#3
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	Re: Great Truths Yep that about sums it up __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand?

11-10-2004, 05:07 PM	#4
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: Great Truths Pretty much says it all!!!!!! Attached Images __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

11-11-2004, 08:39 AM	#5
ibtrukn Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2001 Location: central N.J. Posts: 4,335	Re: Great Truths IB got sum frens dat go all da way-----------Dats GINA not Gino, stoonod!!

11-11-2004, 04:11 PM	#6
IShootBack Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Virginia Posts: 2,306	Re: Great Truths YUP __________________ "The Lord is a warrior, the Lord is his name." Exodus15:3