PLANNING AHEAD....... - The Firearms Forum

rooter · 06-08-2005, 05:06 AM

Subject: Fw: Old Farts/Fartettes and Marriage

-----

George 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each other for two years when they decided that life was too short; and they might as well be together for the rest of their lives.

Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and what plans needed to be made. Along their way, they found themselves in front of a drugstore. George
said to his bride-to-be, "Let's go in. I have an idea."

They walk to the rear of the store and address the man behind the
counter: "Are you the owner?" asked George.

The pharmacist answered, "Yes, sir, I am. How can I help you?"

George: "Do you sell heart medications?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

George: "How about support hose for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

George: "What about medications for rheumatism, osteoporosis, and
arthritis?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

George: "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?"

Pharmacist: "Yes sir."

George: "Hearing aids, denture supplies, and reading glasses?"

Pharmacist: "Yes."

George: "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol, Preparation
H, and ExLax?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

George: "You sell wheelchairs, walkers, and canes?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds and sizes. Why all these questions?"

George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to the pharmacist,

"We've decided to get married and we'd like to
use your store as our Bridal Registry."

rooter · 06-08-2005, 05:07 AM

Subject: Stop or just slow down ... defined!

A Guam guy runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a policeman. The cop says, "License and registration, please."

Bob says, "What for?"

Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Bob says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Cop says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please."

Bob says, "What's the difference?"

Cop says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop. License and registration, PLEASE!"

Bob says, "If you can show me the difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration."

Cop says, "Okay....exit your vehicle, sir."

At this point, the cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving **** out of the guy and says:

"DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?"

Marlin · 06-08-2005, 09:21 AM

That's SSSSOOOOOOO BBBAAAADDDDD!!!!

berto64 · 06-08-2005, 12:27 PM

And Gooood!

SixTGunr · 06-08-2005, 10:33 PM

Stop or Slow Down Hey .... ???

I liked that one Chief ...

Six Out!

06-08-2005, 05:06 AM	#1
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,341	PLANNING AHEAD....... Subject: Fw: Old Farts/Fartettes and Marriage ----- George 92, and Edith, age 89, had been seeing each other for two years when they decided that life was too short; and they might as well be together for the rest of their lives. Excited about their decision to become newlyweds, they went for a stroll to discuss the wedding and what plans needed to be made. Along their way, they found themselves in front of a drugstore. George said to his bride-to-be, "Let's go in. I have an idea." They walk to the rear of the store and address the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" asked George. The pharmacist answered, "Yes, sir, I am. How can I help you?" George: "Do you sell heart medications?" Pharmacist: "Of course we do." George: "How about support hose for circulation?" Pharmacist: "Definitely." George: "What about medications for rheumatism, osteoporosis, and arthritis?" Pharmacist: "All kinds." George: "How about waterproof furniture pads and Depends?" Pharmacist: "Yes sir." George: "Hearing aids, denture supplies, and reading glasses?" Pharmacist: "Yes." George: "What about eye drops, sleeping pills, Geritol, Preparation H, and ExLax?" Pharmacist: "Absolutely." George: "You sell wheelchairs, walkers, and canes?" Pharmacist: "All kinds and sizes. Why all these questions?" George smiled, glanced shyly at Edith and replied to the pharmacist, "We've decided to get married and we'd like to use your store as our Bridal Registry." __________________ -->

06-08-2005, 05:07 AM	#2
rooter VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a suburb of Phoenix. Contributor Posts: 9,341	Re: PLANNING AHEAD....... Subject: Stop or just slow down ... defined! A Guam guy runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a policeman. The cop says, "License and registration, please." Bob says, "What for?" Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." Bob says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming." Cop says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration, please." Bob says, "What's the difference?" Cop says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop. License and registration, PLEASE!" Bob says, "If you can show me the difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration." Cop says, "Okay....exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the cop takes out his nightstick and starts beating the ever-loving **** out of the guy and says: "DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP OR JUST SLOW DOWN?" __________________

06-08-2005, 09:21 AM	#3
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,854	Re: PLANNING AHEAD....... That's SSSSOOOOOOO BBBAAAADDDDD!!!! __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

06-08-2005, 12:27 PM	#4
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,394	Re: PLANNING AHEAD....... And Gooood! __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

06-08-2005, 10:33 PM	#5
SixTGunr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Southwest Missouri Posts: 1,541	Re: PLANNING AHEAD....... Stop or Slow Down Hey .... ??? I liked that one Chief ... Six Out! __________________