Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie
fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them,
you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens,
turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is,
...as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is
not a request for the white, granular sweet substance
that sits in a Little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They
might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor is a plate of hot
fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's in a real crisis, they also know
to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between
"right near" and "a right far piece." They also know
that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car
with the flashing turn signal is actually going to
make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun,
a verb or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines...
and when we're "in line"....we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular... all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and know how to
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits
and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy
is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes
are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'"
you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --
we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means
you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities
at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway.
You just say, "Bless her heart"...and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by
your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of
sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your
And to those of you who are still having a hard time
understanding all this Southern stuff...bless your
hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on
Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have
lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to
hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from
the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
A winning smile.
That unforgettable Southern drawl.
Southern women know their manners:
"Why, no, Billy!"
Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
"Y'all come back!"
"Well, bless your heart."
"Drop by when you can."
"How's your Momma?"
Southern women know their summer weather report:
Southern women know their vacation spots:
Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
Colorful hi-heel sandals
Strapless sun dresses
Iced sweet tea with mint
Southern women know everybody's first name:
Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Gone With The Wind
Southern women know their religions:
Southern women know their country breakfasts:
Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's
Southern women know their cities dripping with
Fort Worth (Foat Wuth)
New Orleans (N'awlins)
Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon
Southern girls know the four deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food
Wearing too much makeup in the summer
Southern girls know men may come and go, but
friends are fahevah !
Now...... Shugah, send this to some girls who
were raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, bless your
little heart, fake it! We know you got here
as fast as you could!
Be who you are & say what you will,
Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter.
I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.