A small zoo in Mississippi had a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Eddie Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Eddie Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution.
Eddie Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00? Eddie Lee showed some interest, but said
he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under four conditions:
1. "First", Eddie Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Zoo Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.
2. "Second", he said, "You can't never tell no one about this." The Zoo Keeper again readily agreed.
3. "Third", Eddie Lee said, "I want all the chillin' raised as Baptist." And again the condition was agreed to.
4. "And last of all, you gotta give me another week to come up with the $500.00."