While you were sleeping.. - The Firearms Forum

Bruce FLinch · 02-26-2007, 12:31 AM

"I really had to hand it to the Academy for sticking it to Al Gore. There's no better way to welcome a radical, left-wing eco-nutjob than with a forest worth of confetti." --Stephen Colbert

"You know the Oscars are still about three weeks away, and Al Gore has already eaten everything in his gift basket." --Jay Leno

"Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama announced he's running for president. .. Obama gave a speech in front of thousands of people in Iowa . During the speech, Obama pointed out his family in the crowd, which was unnecessary since he was in Iowa ." --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama now trying to quit smoking. ... He's now chewing nicotine gum. Today on the news, they showed him chewing the gum while walking. To which President Bush said, 'Show off.'" --Jay Leno

"Senator Obama answered doubts about his inexperience by saying he has gained tremendous insight from his work as a community organizer, civil rights attorney, constitutional law professor, key club president, 4H treasurer, lunch room monitor, two years of jazz, and four years of tap." --Amy Poehler

"Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. ... Lincoln once said, 'a House divided against itself cannot stand.' A very famous quote later proved wrong by the Clintons ." --Jay Leno

"This weekend, President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln's birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as 'the guy who invented the penny.'" --Conan O'Brien

"If Ralph Nader runs for president in 2008, it will make history. He will be the first person to ever run for president four times in the same suit." --Jay Leno

"Fashion designer Donatella Versace says that if Hillary Clinton wants to win, she should ditch the trousers. Actually, you know what would improve her chances more? If Bill kept his trousers up." --Jay Leno

"The Reverend Ted Haggard, who was forced out of his church after a former male prostitute alleged that Haggard paid him for sex, says that he is now completely heterosexual after attending an intensive, three-week counseling program. You hear that, gay people? Three weeks. Stop being so lazy." --Seth Meyers

"Pastor Ted Haggard ... has emerged from three weeks of gay rehab and says he is no longer gay. At least that's what he told his roommate in rehab, Isaiah Washington . He had a three-year relationship with a male prostitute, and after three weeks of therapy you're not gay anymore? I mean, what kind of Clockwork Orange treatment are they using on that guy? What do they give him electro shock while playing Broadway musicals?" --Jay Leno

"The mayor of San Francisco announced that he is entering rehab. Nice to see him entering something that's not married." --Jay Leno

"The mayor of San Francisco , Gavin Newsom, who had sex with the wife of his campaign manager, he announced he's going into alcohol rehab. How insulting is that for the campaign manager? Not only did he have sex with your wife but he had to be drunk to do it." --Jay Leno

"The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn't had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the '60s." --Craig Ferguson

"We're learning more and more about that crazy astronaut. ... She told the police that she was involved with another astronaut and that it was more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship. Or, as the Clintons call it, 'marriage.'" --Jay Leno

"Cold out there, huh? So cold today that Saddam Hussein was happy to be in hell. ... So cold that Iran is attempting to enrich hot cocoa. . So cold they had to chisel that whacky astronaut out of her diaper. ... The cold weather in New York City causes pot holes. This city has more holes than a NASA screening process." --David Letterman

"Have you been following the story of this female astronut? She drove 900 miles from Houston Texas to Orlando , Fla. , to confront the woman who was her romantic rival. She drove the whole time wearing a diaper so she didn't have to stop and pee. And let me tell you something ladies, nothing turns a man on more than a woman with a full diaper." "When she was arrested, she was carrying a wig, a steel mallet, some duct tape, and a knife. Or as OJ calls it, an overnight bag." -- Jay Leno

"She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That's pretty amazing. Britney Spears can't even make it around the block in her underpants." --David Letterman

satellite66 · 02-26-2007, 05:28 AM

Nighthawk · 02-26-2007, 11:36 AM

02-26-2007, 12:31 AM	#1
Bruce FLinch Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point Posts: 5,016	While you were sleeping.. "I really had to hand it to the Academy for sticking it to Al Gore. There's no better way to welcome a radical, left-wing eco-nutjob than with a forest worth of confetti." --Stephen Colbert "You know the Oscars are still about three weeks away, and Al Gore has already eaten everything in his gift basket." --Jay Leno "Over the weekend, Senator Barack Obama announced he's running for president. .. Obama gave a speech in front of thousands of people in Iowa . During the speech, Obama pointed out his family in the crowd, which was unnecessary since he was in Iowa ." --Conan O'Brien "Barack Obama now trying to quit smoking. ... He's now chewing nicotine gum. Today on the news, they showed him chewing the gum while walking. To which President Bush said, 'Show off.'" --Jay Leno "Senator Obama answered doubts about his inexperience by saying he has gained tremendous insight from his work as a community organizer, civil rights attorney, constitutional law professor, key club president, 4H treasurer, lunch room monitor, two years of jazz, and four years of tap." --Amy Poehler "Today is Abraham Lincoln's birthday. ... Lincoln once said, 'a House divided against itself cannot stand.' A very famous quote later proved wrong by the Clintons ." --Jay Leno "This weekend, President Bush gave a speech honoring Abraham Lincoln's birthday. There was an awkward moment when Bush referred to Lincoln as 'the guy who invented the penny.'" --Conan O'Brien "If Ralph Nader runs for president in 2008, it will make history. He will be the first person to ever run for president four times in the same suit." --Jay Leno "Fashion designer Donatella Versace says that if Hillary Clinton wants to win, she should ditch the trousers. Actually, you know what would improve her chances more? If Bill kept his trousers up." --Jay Leno "The Reverend Ted Haggard, who was forced out of his church after a former male prostitute alleged that Haggard paid him for sex, says that he is now completely heterosexual after attending an intensive, three-week counseling program. You hear that, gay people? Three weeks. Stop being so lazy." --Seth Meyers "Pastor Ted Haggard ... has emerged from three weeks of gay rehab and says he is no longer gay. At least that's what he told his roommate in rehab, Isaiah Washington . He had a three-year relationship with a male prostitute, and after three weeks of therapy you're not gay anymore? I mean, what kind of Clockwork Orange treatment are they using on that guy? What do they give him electro shock while playing Broadway musicals?" --Jay Leno "The mayor of San Francisco announced that he is entering rehab. Nice to see him entering something that's not married." --Jay Leno "The mayor of San Francisco , Gavin Newsom, who had sex with the wife of his campaign manager, he announced he's going into alcohol rehab. How insulting is that for the campaign manager? Not only did he have sex with your wife but he had to be drunk to do it." --Jay Leno "The astronaut love triangle. I love that one. NASA hasn't had this much press since they faked that moon-landing thing in the '60s." --Craig Ferguson "We're learning more and more about that crazy astronaut. ... She told the police that she was involved with another astronaut and that it was more than a working relationship, but less than a romantic relationship. Or, as the Clintons call it, 'marriage.'" --Jay Leno "Cold out there, huh? So cold today that Saddam Hussein was happy to be in hell. ... So cold that Iran is attempting to enrich hot cocoa. . So cold they had to chisel that whacky astronaut out of her diaper. ... The cold weather in New York City causes pot holes. This city has more holes than a NASA screening process." --David Letterman "Have you been following the story of this female astronut? She drove 900 miles from Houston Texas to Orlando , Fla. , to confront the woman who was her romantic rival. She drove the whole time wearing a diaper so she didn't have to stop and pee. And let me tell you something ladies, nothing turns a man on more than a woman with a full diaper." "When she was arrested, she was carrying a wig, a steel mallet, some duct tape, and a knife. Or as OJ calls it, an overnight bag." -- Jay Leno "She drove 900 miles in a diaper. That's pretty amazing. Britney Spears can't even make it around the block in her underpants." --David Letterman __________________ A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work. -->

02-26-2007, 05:28 AM	#2
satellite66 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Central NJ Posts: 2,068	Re: While you were sleeping.. __________________ “Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not” — Thomas Jefferson. "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948

02-26-2007, 11:36 AM	#3
Nighthawk Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,330	Re: While you were sleeping.. __________________ Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." --John Adams, letter to Benjamin Rush, April 18, 1808 NRA Life TSRA Life GOA Member