Terrorist Threat Levels
Threat levels Reports indicate that the English are feeling the pinch in
relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level
from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though security levels may be raised yet
again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. Londoners have not been 'A Bit
Cross' since 'the blitz' in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to a 'Bloody Nuisance.'
The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was
during the great fire of 1666.
Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two higher levels in
France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The rise was precipitated by a
recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.
It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly and Excitedly' to
'Elaborate Military Posturing.' Two more levels remain: 'Ineffective Combat
Operations' and 'Change Sides.'
The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to
'Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.' They also have two higher
levels: 'Invade a Neighbor' and 'Lose.'
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy
can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work.