Terrorist Threat Levels

[Bruce FLinch]

Threat levels Reports indicate that the English are feeling the pinch in

relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level

from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though security levels may be raised yet

again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. Londoners have not been 'A Bit

Cross' since 'the blitz' in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to a 'Bloody Nuisance.'

The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was

during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its

terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two higher levels in

France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The rise was precipitated by a

recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively

paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of

alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly and Excitedly' to

'Elaborate Military Posturing.' Two more levels remain: 'Ineffective Combat

Operations' and 'Change Sides.'

The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to

'Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.' They also have two higher

levels: 'Invade a Neighbor' and 'Lose.'

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy

can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

[crims40]

[durk]

[Marlin]

ROTF

[Nighthawk]