medical insurance explained - The Firearms Forum

Bruce FLinch · 06-22-2007, 12:32 AM

Medical Insurance Explained

Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.

Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country.

Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.

Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions?

A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.

Q. What if Im away from home and I get sick?

A. You really shouldnt do that.

Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office?

A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot.

Q Will health care be different in the next decade?

A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

Marlin · 06-22-2007, 09:21 AM

Sadly, this is TRUE and not a joke. [Not unlike Socialized Medicine.]

pickenup · 06-22-2007, 09:41 AM

Yup, from what I've heard, that pretty much explains it.

Deputy Dawg · 06-22-2007, 10:02 AM

Now I understand how the system works.Sad but very true.

Tom Militano · 06-22-2007, 12:47 PM

I though it meant "Hand money over"

Lead Lobber · 06-23-2007, 12:19 AM

Talked with Kill Me Permanently (Kaiser Permanente) today to find out their computer billing system is screwed up, and has been for at least six months. They just posted a $170 charge from last January; I guess I tickled the nurse too much. They had to recompute my 10 month loan because (and the woman on the phone admitted it!) that their computers have been screwed up for a long time, and won't be getting better anytime soon.

Been there, done that, thank you. No wonder people like me call them up and complain.

So, if you have billing questions of Kaiser Permanente, don't let up - grab them by the short hair and tear it out!

Just my 2 bits worth ...

Leadus, Lobber of Heavy Metal

06-22-2007, 12:32 AM	#1
Bruce FLinch Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bay Point, Kali..aka Gun Point Posts: 5,016	medical insurance explained Medical Insurance Explained Q. What does HMO stand for? A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye. Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want? A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. The doctors basically fall into two categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry, the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and a diploma from a third world country. Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification? A. No. Only those you need. Q. Can I get coverage for my pre-existing conditions? A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment. Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine? A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment. Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache. What should I do? A. Poke yourself in the eye. Q. What if Im away from home and I get sick? A. You really shouldnt do that. Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his/her office? A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's no harm in giving it a shot. Q Will health care be different in the next decade? A. No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then. __________________ A bad day @ the Range, is better than a good day @ work. -->

06-22-2007, 09:21 AM	#2
Marlin TFF Admin Staff Chief Counselor Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: At SouthernMoss' side forever! Contributor Posts: 13,853	Re: medical insurance explained Sadly, this is TRUE and not a joke. [Not unlike Socialized Medicine.] __________________ *The flag represents a living country and is itself considered a living thing.* *The only criminal class native to the United States is Congress.*

06-22-2007, 09:41 AM	#3
pickenup Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Colorado Rocky Mountains Posts: 6,838	Re: medical insurance explained Yup, from what I've heard, that pretty much explains it. __________________ The gene pool needs chlorine

06-22-2007, 10:02 AM	#4
Deputy Dawg Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Central Texas Gulf Coast Posts: 2,229	Re: medical insurance explained Now I understand how the system works.Sad but very true. __________________ LOCK and LOAD................................... GOD, GUNS,GUTS the three that keep us FREE!!!!

06-22-2007, 12:47 PM	#5
Tom Militano Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Jacksonville, AL Posts: 1,255	Re: medical insurance explained I though it meant "Hand money over"

06-23-2007, 12:19 AM	#6
Lead Lobber Former Guest Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Central California coastal area Posts: 965	Re: medical insurance explained Talked with Kill Me Permanently (Kaiser Permanente) today to find out their computer billing system is screwed up, and has been for at least six months. They just posted a $170 charge from last January; I guess I tickled the nurse too much. They had to recompute my 10 month loan because (and the woman on the phone admitted it!) that their computers have been screwed up for a long time, and won't be getting better anytime soon. Been there, done that, thank you. No wonder people like me call them up and complain. So, if you have billing questions of Kaiser Permanente, don't let up - grab them by the short hair and tear it out! Just my 2 bits worth ... Leadus, Lobber of Heavy Metal