Killer biscuits beware
KILLER BISCUITS WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER
(the actual AP headline)
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws
in Los Angeles and, while there, went to a nearby supermarket to
pick up some groceries.
Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled
up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of
her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while
became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that
Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very strange. He
asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot
in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for
over an hour.
The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because
the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands
from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of
bread dough on the back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making
a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough
hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the
dough thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but
quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an
hour until someone noticed and came to her aid.
Linda is a blonde and a Democrat, but I'm certain that's
“Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not” — Thomas Jefferson.
"The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of 'liberalism,' they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened." - Norman Thomas, U.S. Socialist Party presidential candidate 1940, 1944 and 1948