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Old 07-13-2007, 10:32 AM   #1
Pistolenschutze
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Default Gates of Heaven

A woman arrived at the Gates of Heaven. While she was waiting for Saint Peter to greet her, she peeked through the gates.


She saw a beautiful banquet table. Sitting all around were her parents and all the other people she had loved and who had died before her. They saw her and began calling greetings to her "Hello - How are you! We've been waiting for you! Good to see you."


When Saint Peter came by, the woman said to him, "This is such a wonderful place! How do I get in?" "You have to spell a word," Saint Peter told her.


"Which word?" the woman asked.


"Love."


The woman correctly spelled "Love" and Saint Peter welcomed her into Heaven.


About a year later, Saint Peter came to the woman and asked her to watch the Gates of Heaven for him that day.


While the woman was guarding the Gates of Heaven, her husband arrived. "I'm surprised to see you," the woman said. "How have you been?"


"Oh, I've been doing pretty well since you died," her husband told her. "I married the beautiful young nurse who took care of you while you were ill. And then I won the multi-state lottery. I sold the little house you and I lived in and bought a huge mansion. And my wife and I traveled all around the world. We were on vacation in Cancun and I went water skiing today. I fell and hit my head, and here I am. What a bummer! How do I get in?"


"You have to spell a word," the woman told him.


"Which word?" her husband asked.


"Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu " (which, if you're interested, is the name of a small hill in Hawkes Bay, New Zealand)


Moral of the story: Never make a woman angry... There will be Hell to pay later
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Old 07-13-2007, 10:43 AM   #2
firebird
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Default Re: Gates of Heaven

LMAO!!!! So true...so true...
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“Let them call me a rebel, and welcome; I feel no concern from it. For I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul.”
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Alis volat propiis ~ She flies with her own wings


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Old 07-13-2007, 10:45 AM   #3
bunnyhunter12
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Default Re: Gates of Heaven

I'm being buried with my dictionary..............
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If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government --and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws. -- Edward Abbey in Abbey's Road, p.39 (Plume, 1979)

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Old 07-13-2007, 02:22 PM   #4
firebird
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Default Re: Gates of Heaven

LOL Bunny!
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“Let them call me a rebel, and welcome; I feel no concern from it. For I should suffer the misery of devils, were I to make a whore of my soul.”
~Thomas Paine

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
~Aristotle

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
~Confucius

Alis volat propiis ~ She flies with her own wings


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Old 07-13-2007, 09:13 PM   #5
Bruce FLinch
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Default Re: Gates of Heaven

Maybe take a Theosaurus, too!
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Old 07-13-2007, 10:38 PM   #6
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