International Discussions - The Firearms Forum

358 winchester · 10-22-2007, 11:26 AM

International Discussions

Back when Colin Powell was Secretary of State he was being interviewed in
England by a group of international reporters when a French reporter asked
him: "Does America expect to retain control of any of the territory you have
conquered recently?"

Powell slowly responded with: "Yes. We will surely retain control of some
territory. It will be like the territory we retained in France after World
War Two. If you will check you will see that we retained an area of about
seven feet by three feet for each American killed in France who is buried
there."

The French reporter offered no response.

______________

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American.

During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying,
"Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an
aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he
intend to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three
hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear
powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they
have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a
day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea
water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in
transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck."

"We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

Once again, dead silence.
________________

A United States Navy admiral was attending a naval conference that
included admirals from the United States, England, Canada, Australia and
France.

At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of
officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was
chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral
suddenly complained, ''Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans
learn only English." He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak
English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's because
the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have
to speak German."

Once again, dead silence.

Pistolenschutze · 10-22-2007, 11:42 AM

Good one, Ron.

inplanotx · 10-22-2007, 12:14 PM

Very nice!

Nighthawk · 10-22-2007, 01:39 PM

good one

noslolo · 10-23-2007, 03:11 AM

Nice, very nice!

catfish83861 · 10-23-2007, 11:15 AM

Those that do not Truely Love their liberty have never lost it. Thats, Thanks to a Vet. catfish

polishshooter · 10-23-2007, 06:59 PM

My favorite is the old one about the old Pilot for Pan Am that got lost on the taxiways after he landed at Frankfort, in the 60s or maybe the 70s, and shut it down and asked the tower for a "follow-me" and the tower came back in a young precise German accent asking sarcastically whether this was his first time visiting Frankfort.

The pilot replied " No I've been here a few times, but it was in a B-17 and we didn't stop..."

Again, it was reported there was silence in reply...and a follow-me showed up shortly.

I've heard variations of this story over the years, some from commercial pilots
who have their own versions, I can't vouch that it's true, but it sounds like it SHOULD be....

Pistolenschutze · 10-24-2007, 12:25 AM

Q: Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein?
A: He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French.

Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"?
A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone.

Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert?
A: Mirage

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.

Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms?
A: To see all their other ships.

Q: Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets?
A: So you can see their white flags better.

Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion.

The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking.

Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman:
"Excuse me. Do you speak German?" The Frenchman replied "No." Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome."

Q: How did the French react to German reunification?
A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers.

Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back?
A: Jacques Chirac

A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!"

Q: Why is it good to be French?
A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you.

Q: What is the French battle flag?
A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background.

Q: Why do Frenchmen always wear yellow ties?
A: To match their teeth.

Q: What's the best place to hide your money?
A: Under a Frenchman's soap.

A: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand?
Q: More sand.

Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered?
A: Table for one hundred thousand, sir?

Q: What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman?
A: Reverse!

Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice medicine?
A: He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was the best veternnarian in town!

Q: How do you stop a French tank?
A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it.

A French rifle for sale on ebay:
"It's never been fired and it's been dropped only once."

You really do have to hand it to the French...
After all, they won't fight for it.

Q: How many French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five: one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing.
one to turn tail and run.
one to roll over.
one to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sockets.
and one to pick up a phone and cry to the United States.

Q: What happens when a Frenchman doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.

Q: What does "Maginot" mean in German?
A: Welcome!

Q: Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis?
A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway.

French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. The forward gear exists in case they are attacked from behind.

Q:Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A:So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.

Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.

Q: Did you hear about the French helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.

Q: What do you call a Frenchman with 1500 girl friends?
A: A shepherd.

Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead Frenchman In the middle of the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.

Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Perrier bottle in France?
A: Open other end.

Q: Did you hear about the French hockey team?
A: They all drowned in spring training.

Q: Did you hear about the new automatic French parachutes?
A: They open on impact.

Q: Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door?
A: Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out.

10-22-2007, 11:26 AM	#1
358 winchester TFF Admin Staff Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Pensacola Fl. area Posts: 7,335	International Discussions International Discussions Back when Colin Powell was Secretary of State he was being interviewed in England by a group of international reporters when a French reporter asked him: "Does America expect to retain control of any of the territory you have conquered recently?" Powell slowly responded with: "Yes. We will surely retain control of some territory. It will be like the territory we retained in France after World War Two. If you will check you will see that we retained an area of about seven feet by three feet for each American killed in France who is buried there." The French reporter offered no response. ______________ Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to do, bomb them?" A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck." "We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?" Once again, dead silence. ________________ A United States Navy admiral was attending a naval conference that included admirals from the United States, England, Canada, Australia and France. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks, but a French admiral suddenly complained, ''Whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English." He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied, "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German." Once again, dead silence. __________________ Administrator & Owner RangeDay.com Proud, White, Heterosexual, Gun Owning, Southern American, Christian. Any question about where I stand? -->

10-22-2007, 11:42 AM	#2
Pistolenschutze Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 13,094	Re: International Discussions Good one, Ron. __________________ --Pistolenschutze (Pistol Shooter)

10-22-2007, 12:14 PM	#3
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	Re: International Discussions Very nice! __________________

10-22-2007, 01:39 PM	#4
Nighthawk Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: South Central Texas Posts: 3,330	Re: International Discussions good one __________________ Our obligations to our country never cease but with our lives." --John Adams, letter to Benjamin Rush, April 18, 1808 NRA Life TSRA Life GOA Member

10-23-2007, 03:11 AM	#5
noslolo Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Johnstown PA Posts: 1,558	Re: International Discussions Nice, very nice! __________________ I'm a heck of a "obesito illegitimo"

10-23-2007, 11:15 AM	#6
catfish83861 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: North Idaho Posts: 2,019	Re: International Discussions Those that do not Truely Love their liberty have never lost it. Thats, Thanks to a Vet. catfish

10-23-2007, 06:59 PM	#7
polishshooter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Indiana Contributor Posts: 7,860	Re: International Discussions My favorite is the old one about the old Pilot for Pan Am that got lost on the taxiways after he landed at Frankfort, in the 60s or maybe the 70s, and shut it down and asked the tower for a "follow-me" and the tower came back in a young precise German accent asking sarcastically whether this was his first time visiting Frankfort. The pilot replied " No I've been here a few times, but it was in a B-17 and we didn't stop..." Again, it was reported there was silence in reply...and a follow-me showed up shortly. I've heard variations of this story over the years, some from commercial pilots who have their own versions, I can't vouch that it's true, but it sounds like it SHOULD be.... __________________ The problems we face today are there because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living. Last edited by polishshooter; 10-23-2007 at 07:02 PM..

10-24-2007, 12:25 AM	#8
Pistolenschutze Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 13,094	Re: International Discussions Q: Wy don't the French want to bomb Saddam Hussein? A: He hates America, he loves mistresses and he wears a beret. He is French. Q: Why do the French call their fighter the "Mirage"? A: Because it's never seen in a combat zone. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American and British soldiers in the Iraqi desert? A: Mirage The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. Q: Why do French naval ships have glass bottoms? A: To see all their other ships. Q: Why do the French use a lot of bleach on their sheets? A: So you can see their white flags better. Going to war without the French is like going hunting without an accordion. The French are to warfare what the British are to cooking. Donald Rumsfeld was being heckled by a French anti-war weenie when he suddenly turned and asked the Frenchman: "Excuse me. Do you speak German?" The Frenchman replied "No." Rumsfeld looked him in the eyes and said "You're welcome." Q: How did the French react to German reunification? A: They put up speed bumps at the borders to slow down the panzers. Q: What do you call a man who only needs body armor on his back? A: Jacques Chirac A man askes his companion, "What's the most common French expression"? His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I give up!" Q: Why is it good to be French? A: You can surrender at the beginning of the war, and US will win it for you. Q: What is the French battle flag? A: It is three white fleur-de-lies on a white background. Q: Why do Frenchmen always wear yellow ties? A: To match their teeth. Q: What's the best place to hide your money? A: Under a Frenchman's soap. A: What do you get if you see a Frenchman up to his neck in sand? Q: More sand. Q: What did the Mayor of Paris say to the German Army as they entered? A: Table for one hundred thousand, sir? Q: What do you do if you drive over a Frenchman? A: Reverse! Q: Did you hear about the Frenchman who lost his license to practice medicine? A: He was caught having sex with some of his patients. It's a shame, he was the best veternnarian in town! Q: How do you stop a French tank? A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it. A French rifle for sale on ebay: "It's never been fired and it's been dropped only once." You really do have to hand it to the French... After all, they won't fight for it. Q: How many French soldiers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five: one to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. one to turn tail and run. one to roll over. one to surrender to the light bulb and snitch out occupied sockets. and one to pick up a phone and cry to the United States. Q: What happens when a Frenchman doesn't pay his garbage bill? A: They stop delivering. Q: What does "Maginot" mean in German? A: Welcome! Q: Why did the Frenchman sell his water skis? A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: All of them: One to screw the bulb in, the rest to brag about how great the French are at screwing. Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter; if you're depending on the French to do the job, it's screwed anyway. French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 forward. The forward gear exists in case they are attacked from behind. Q:Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama? A:So the French can show them how to surrender. Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a hand-grenade at you? A: Take the pin out and throw it back. Q: What do you do if a Frenchman throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth. Q: Did you hear about the French helicopter crash? A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan. Q: What do you call a Frenchman with 1500 girl friends? A: A shepherd. Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead Frenchman In the middle of the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk. Q: What does it say on the bottom of a Perrier bottle in France? A: Open other end. Q: Did you hear about the French hockey team? A: They all drowned in spring training. Q: Did you hear about the new automatic French parachutes? A: They open on impact. Q: Did you hear about the French submarine with a screen door? A: Don't laugh... it keeps the fish out. __________________ --Pistolenschutze (Pistol Shooter)