Okay a little history on the story. Let me start by saying we have my wife's 80 year old mother living with us. Anyways I was all set to cook up wild turkey and venison this year when this sweet little bundle of cluttered thoughts decided we had to have a traditional turkey. No problem we'll get a small bird and make her happy and still have the wild bird and venison. My first mistake was letting my wife and her go get the bird.
What they brought home was birdzilla (22 lbs.) Okay so you can never have enough turkey (over 40 lbs. with the wild birds we got.) Well one thing I've learned after 23 years of marriage is shut up and do what your told. Here's where the fun starts. Got up this morning and put birdzilla around 4:00am so he'd be good and done when I had to leave later this morning. Promised a friend I'd help today taking care of a major porky problem on his ranch. Bird was done all nicely tucked in the pan in the cold oven. When I left everything else was in the smoker slowly making yummy. Told the wife I'd be back around 5 or 6. End of story, except that about an hour after I left my wife and daughter left leaving granny HOME ALONE.
Anybody out there want to take a guess at what happens to a 22 lb bird when you add an additional 4-5 hours of cooking at 200 deg. She came out and thought we'd forgotten to turn the oven on, even though I feel obligated to say she was in the kitchen when I took the bird out of the oven earlier. Fortunately the temp was turned all the way down so she didn't burn the house down. She did however complete what my son and I are going to refer to henceforth as "Turkey Jerky on the Bone"
He had walked in right after me. We were getting quite a chuckle out of it till my wife came in
She insisted I carve it up and don't let her mother know what she'd done. My son made a reference to going out to get the chain saw and was promptly smacked and banished from the room, leaving me to deal with "TJB". As I was carving our little bundle of confusion came wheeling by grab a slice and exclaimed "Maybe next time I'll show you how to cook one so it's moist"
My wife suppressed a laugh and reminded me Florida is a death penalty state. The wild bird and the venison came out perfect and I just put the finishing touches on the chipolte bbq sauce. Laughing boy came back in for round two and announced we couldn't feed it to the dogs cause the was a law against that kind of cruelty. My wife gave him the death stare
and said "NO, not going to throw out, your going to eat some of it." My turn to laugh.
Ya know with chipolte sauce and the right amount of chewing it ain't half bad
Merry Christmas folks,