THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD?

[rooter]

> BARACK OBAMA:
> The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The
> chicken wanted CHANGE!
>
> JOHN McCAIN:
> My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the
> need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on
> the other side of the road.
>
> HILLARY CLINTON:
> When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to
> cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure
> -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the
> chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't
> about me.
>
> DR. PHIL:
> The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
> first deal with the problem on '"THIS " side of the road before it goes
> after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What we need to do is
> help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "CURRENT"
> problems before adding "NEW" problems.
>
> OPRAH:
> Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
> wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn
> from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to
> give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and
> not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
> GEORGE W. BUSH:
> We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to
> know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
> either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
> COLIN POWELL:
> Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image
> of the chicken crossing the road.
>
> ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
> We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been
> allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
>
> JOHN KERRY:
> Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
> It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
> intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
> NANCY GRACE:
> That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his
> eyes and the way he walks.
>
> PAT BUCHANAN:
> To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
> MARTHA STEWART:
> No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
> standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
> dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>
> DR SEUSS:
> Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
> chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
>
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
> To die in the rain. Alone.
>
> JERRY FALWELL:
> Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
> That's why they call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken
> is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
> boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
> media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like the "other side."
> That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as
> simple as that.
>
> GRANDPA:
> In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
> us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
>
> BARBARA WALTERS:
> Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
> chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
> experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
> life long dream of crossing the road.
>
> ARISTOTLE:
> It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
> JOHN LENNON:
> Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
>
> BILL GATES:
> I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but
> will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
> book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new
> platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........
> reboot.
>
> ALBERT EINSTEIN:
> Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the
> chicken?
>
> BILL CLINTON:
> I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of
> chicken?
>
> AL GORE:
> I invented the chicken!
>
> COLONEL SANDERS:
> Did I miss one?
>
> AL SHARPTON:
> Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
>
> DICK CHENEY:
> Where's my gun?

[Marlin]

[Pistolenschutze]

REVEREND WRIGHT (frothing at the mouth):
The black chicken crossed the road only because of white prejudice in a racist America! The white chickens left on the other side of the road are doomed!

[Sigma40]

MARTIN LUTHER KING Jr
I had a dream that ALL CHICKENS will one day... BANG!!!