Young Father Prepares For The Worst... - The Firearms Forum

Guardian · 08-20-2008, 10:54 PM

Hello all, this is my first post on this forum. I've read a few posts already but would like to hear some of your opinion's on my situation.

I am 26, my wife is 24 and my daughter is 13 mo. We live in a very respectable part of town.

Last week I my buddy told me a story about how he was mugged and spent 3 hours begging for his life. Obviously he was able to get out of the situation. However, this story reaffirmed my desire to take proactive measures to protect myself and more importantly, my family, from the sickos.

When we found out my wife was pregnant nearly two years ago my first reaction was that I will be responsible for my family's safe keeping. I said to myself, I need to get some protection. That was two years ago.

I purchased a Mossberg 410 pistol grip pumper to keep in the closet about a month ago. (Before my buddy's recent story). My wife, raised as a radical Liberal was totaly against guns. I was able to persuade her into allowing me to keep the shotgun in the house and loaded. I took her to the range and taught her how to shoot it. She asked me 4 or 5 times in the next two weeks, "when are we going to the range again"? I was overcome with excitement because I felt that she had a new interest in guns and truly enjoyed shooting.

This was always a concern of mine when we became a "serious item".

Then I asked how she felt about getting her permit and carrying a pistol in her purse. She told me she would think about it. I of course interpreted this as, "sure".

So today I bought a .380 Bersa Thunder. My plan was that hopefully she'll like it and it can be her primary carry weapon. If not, it can be my back up when I get my Kimber, and I'll get her what she likes to shoot.

Well, not 2 hours after I bought the thing she told me that she had told her CRAZY liberal Dad (mom wasn't around much and Dad became the knight and shining armor) that I had bought her a shotgun. He explained he was WAY against this, obviously. I then asked her, "well, what did you tell him". She says, "I told him I agreed, but somehow you convinced me to keep a loaded gun in the house". My hopes and dreams were crushed.

Not only was I excited that my wife would allow me to keep loaded weapons around, I was excited that she would carry and that gave me comfort. I also took a great joy in knowing that our relationship and our kids' relationships would grow stronger at the shooting range in the next 20 years.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, at the same time I'm going through a long chain of emails with my immediate family about owning guns, carrying, keeping loaded guns around... My dad just recently started carrying after 25 years of telling me "guns are bad" (Talk about a 180), my sister is open to ideas, but not a gun nut by any means, and my mom thinks she has the answer to everything and that I can teach my kids about guns but if I keep one loaded in the house, someone's gonna shoot someone.

Thank you to those you have read thus far...

So I'm in a very unfamiliar place. I NEED to find a way to bring my wife to our side. I'm not going to try to change her political beliefs, but I need to show her the reality of life and the existence of crazy lunatics that are mentally and chemically unstable, and that we have the right and we need to exercise the right to protect ourselves.

I plan on taking her to the range as often as I can. Getting my mom on board is not as important, because whether she likes it or not I will have loaded gunS in the house with my children.

Who has a pill that will make the ol lady understand that we need to have loaded, ready protection and that there are ways to nearly illiminate the chances of an "accident"?

My fingers are tired, thanks for listening!

berto64 · 08-21-2008, 01:24 AM

Welcome to the TFF Guardian.

You are off to a great start with your wife and congratulations for that.

As far as your mom goes, I don't know what to tell you other than remind her that it is your family & your house and you'll do what you think is necessary to protect them. (Tactfully I might add)

O yea, don't push mom too hard, she's held her beliefs for a long time so she's not going to change them very quickly if at all.

Good luck!

TranterUK · 08-21-2008, 02:40 AM

Welcome to TFF.

Try this argument, a defensive weapon is like the spare tyre in the trunk of your car. You don't expect to need it, you certainly don't want to need it. If however you do need it, it better be there.

oscarmayer · 08-21-2008, 04:37 AM

good advice from Tranter also add the smoke alarm to the conversation. handy to have around and hope you'll never need to use it. a gun is a tool. also consider joining the nra, and subscribing to the american rifleman magazine. every month there are great storys of how a gun save someone. not unlike the resent story of the elderly lady that came home to find a punk in her home. she went to the bedroom produced a a handgun held the punk at bay while she made him call 911

Terry_P · 08-21-2008, 07:21 AM

I would talk directly with her dad and tell him I appreciated his opinion but that as the man of your family you think it is important and necessary to protect them and have a firearm now and intend to keep it and would appreciate if he could accept both you and your decision. If he thens says he can't then I would tell him the decision has already been made.

It's your family and you should do what is necessary to keep them safe. If someone breaks in and harms your family who do you think father-in-law is going to blame? Your wife may grouse for awhile but she'll get over it particularily if she enjoys shooting. Once your child gets old enough (now) to be at risk from the weapons then it is imperative that you take steps to make them safe from her. You may wish to consider one of the handgun storage vaults for your Kimber and use that in the house.

mrkirker · 08-21-2008, 08:00 AM

Your family: Your situation: Your house, as far as the relatives go.
By being a responsible, careful gun owner, you'll gradually bring your wife around. Don't push too hard, she's already moved toward the idea once, and by being a good example, she just might return.

Guardian, as a diamond has many facets; a relationship with a woman encompasses many things. She may not 'come around' fully to your idea of 'quality' time at the range. But there are many other facets that the two of you can illuminate in order to light your life path, seek and cherish those.

delta13soultaker · 08-21-2008, 08:00 PM

Leave this laying where she will read it.

ponycar17 · 08-21-2008, 08:48 PM

I really see no problem here. You mastered your wife's fear of guns with relative ease. Why not suggest to your father-in-law that he should shoot with you some time? I've found that firm anti-gun folks change a bit when they're actually shooting a firearm. It can be (perish the thought) fun...

I converted my mother-in-law to a pro-gun person and it's a dang good thing too... My family has always been pro-gun. The only thing I worry about as a pro-gun dad at 29 is that my 16 month old son (at a later age) will go tell the soccer-mom blabber mouths at his daycare that I have a dreaded gun that I routinely carry into public places which allow such carry.

I'm with Delta as well... Leave this laying around...

http://www.gunfacts.info/

JohnK3 · 08-22-2008, 12:42 AM

If your dad is carrying, invite both her dad and yours. That way, your dad can explain why, after years of thinking guns were bad, he's carrying a gun.

Gator · 08-24-2008, 02:07 PM

your father-in-law sounds like a weenie. your mom sounds like a nut. your dad sounds like an enlightened, highly astute, and handsome man. you should seek counsel from your father. he seems to be pretty cool.

Guardian · 08-24-2008, 02:28 PM

Folks, meet dad, AKA "Gator".

So what say you? Wanna go shoot with the father in law?

redhart · 08-26-2008, 02:50 PM

Jion the NRA, get the American riflman mag.(free) let her read the Armed citizen page, check out the local Police log,can usually be done online.Withall due respect she needs to realize the NEED .Most non LEO havent a clue what is happening in thier BACKYARDS

redhart · 08-26-2008, 03:03 PM

Its better to have a gun and Not need it, then to need a gun and Not have it!! Old quote ,but a good one.

t. appleby · 08-31-2008, 05:56 PM

if it helps, i'm 23+ years as a cop, and not just line officer, did tours in narcotics, 18 yrs swat, and I am in command staff .
Police are to clean up afterwards, rarely do we get there in time. violence happens to quick, criminals know that fast and furious , in and out gets what they want and a short term get away. That is how they live thier lives, in the wake a lot of innocent people get laid low.
Keep your guns, get trained on law and tactics , combine the two and keep your young family safe. young lad you are the head of your house, your father in law needs to respect that and respectfully disagree but also not undermine you. If he does less then he is not much of a man or example for his family.
Stand your ground and do the right thing, protect your family in a complete fashion, you use life insurance, a strong work ethic to provide, seat belts in the car and guns at hand for those with malice. best luck and god's blessing

GoodOl'12gauge · 10-01-2008, 01:31 PM

Your house, your rules your child to protect. Its up to you not the in-laws. Get your gun practice with it, and use it well. Goodluck be safe

hkruss · 10-02-2008, 05:16 PM

Some things to consider. First, your anti-gun in-laws have staunch beliefs that will not be changed overnight,(if ever). Stick to your guns!(no pun intended). Once they see you have made up your mind, they will probably hassle you less over time. If it does continue, use my favorite reason for having a gun for home defense, that being, which is better; Having a weapon in your trained hands to instantly protect your family, or waiting at least 3 to 5 minutes min. for the cops to get there (assuming you can get to the phone to call 911)? You may not have 3 to 5 min. before some horrific damage is done. Remind them, this is their little girl and grandchild you are protecting.
Whatever you do, STAND BY YOUR CHOICE!!! As long as you and your wife are trained with guns, (and just as importantly, have the mindset to use them if needed) you are doing the right thing! Remember, it is your DUTY to protect your family, do NOT be persuaded otherwise!!

08-20-2008, 10:54 PM	#1
Guardian Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 8	Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Hello all, this is my first post on this forum. I've read a few posts already but would like to hear some of your opinion's on my situation. I am 26, my wife is 24 and my daughter is 13 mo. We live in a very respectable part of town. Last week I my buddy told me a story about how he was mugged and spent 3 hours begging for his life. Obviously he was able to get out of the situation. However, this story reaffirmed my desire to take proactive measures to protect myself and more importantly, my family, from the sickos. When we found out my wife was pregnant nearly two years ago my first reaction was that I will be responsible for my family's safe keeping. I said to myself, I need to get some protection. That was two years ago. I purchased a Mossberg 410 pistol grip pumper to keep in the closet about a month ago. (Before my buddy's recent story). My wife, raised as a radical Liberal was totaly against guns. I was able to persuade her into allowing me to keep the shotgun in the house and loaded. I took her to the range and taught her how to shoot it. She asked me 4 or 5 times in the next two weeks, "when are we going to the range again"? I was overcome with excitement because I felt that she had a new interest in guns and truly enjoyed shooting. This was always a concern of mine when we became a "serious item". Then I asked how she felt about getting her permit and carrying a pistol in her purse. She told me she would think about it. I of course interpreted this as, "sure". So today I bought a .380 Bersa Thunder. My plan was that hopefully she'll like it and it can be her primary carry weapon. If not, it can be my back up when I get my Kimber, and I'll get her what she likes to shoot. Well, not 2 hours after I bought the thing she told me that she had told her CRAZY liberal Dad (mom wasn't around much and Dad became the knight and shining armor) that I had bought her a shotgun. He explained he was WAY against this, obviously. I then asked her, "well, what did you tell him". She says, "I told him I agreed, but somehow you convinced me to keep a loaded gun in the house". My hopes and dreams were crushed. Not only was I excited that my wife would allow me to keep loaded weapons around, I was excited that she would carry and that gave me comfort. I also took a great joy in knowing that our relationship and our kids' relationships would grow stronger at the shooting range in the next 20 years. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, at the same time I'm going through a long chain of emails with my immediate family about owning guns, carrying, keeping loaded guns around... My dad just recently started carrying after 25 years of telling me "guns are bad" (Talk about a 180), my sister is open to ideas, but not a gun nut by any means, and my mom thinks she has the answer to everything and that I can teach my kids about guns but if I keep one loaded in the house, someone's gonna shoot someone. Thank you to those you have read thus far... So I'm in a very unfamiliar place. I NEED to find a way to bring my wife to our side. I'm not going to try to change her political beliefs, but I need to show her the reality of life and the existence of crazy lunatics that are mentally and chemically unstable, and that we have the right and we need to exercise the right to protect ourselves. I plan on taking her to the range as often as I can. Getting my mom on board is not as important, because whether she likes it or not I will have loaded gunS in the house with my children. Who has a pill that will make the ol lady understand that we need to have loaded, ready protection and that there are ways to nearly illiminate the chances of an "accident"? My fingers are tired, thanks for listening! -->

08-21-2008, 01:24 AM	#2
berto64 VMBB Admin Staff Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Owyhee County, Idaho Contributor Posts: 7,394	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Welcome to the TFF Guardian. You are off to a great start with your wife and congratulations for that. As far as your mom goes, I don't know what to tell you other than remind her that it is your family & your house and you'll do what you think is necessary to protect them. (Tactfully I might add) O yea, don't push mom too hard, she's held her beliefs for a long time so she's not going to change them very quickly if at all. Good luck! __________________ Be who you are & say what you will, Those that matter won't mind and those that mind don't matter. I'm a bitter clinger, One Nation Under God.

08-21-2008, 02:40 AM	#3
TranterUK Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Cambridge UK Posts: 5,103	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Welcome to TFF. Try this argument, a defensive weapon is like the spare tyre in the trunk of your car. You don't expect to need it, you certainly don't want to need it. If however you do need it, it better be there. __________________ DVC - Diligentia, Vis, Celeritas - Accuracy, Power, Speed. The light at the end of the recession tunnel IS a train coming the other way! Last edited by TranterUK; 08-21-2008 at 02:44 AM..

08-21-2008, 04:37 AM	#4
oscarmayer Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Contributor Posts: 2,387	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... good advice from Tranter also add the smoke alarm to the conversation. handy to have around and hope you'll never need to use it. a gun is a tool. also consider joining the nra, and subscribing to the american rifleman magazine. every month there are great storys of how a gun save someone. not unlike the resent story of the elderly lady that came home to find a punk in her home. she went to the bedroom produced a a handgun held the punk at bay while she made him call 911

08-21-2008, 07:21 AM	#5
Terry_P Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: NH Posts: 2,513	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... I would talk directly with her dad and tell him I appreciated his opinion but that as the man of your family you think it is important and necessary to protect them and have a firearm now and intend to keep it and would appreciate if he could accept both you and your decision. If he thens says he can't then I would tell him the decision has already been made. It's your family and you should do what is necessary to keep them safe. If someone breaks in and harms your family who do you think father-in-law is going to blame? Your wife may grouse for awhile but she'll get over it particularily if she enjoys shooting. Once your child gets old enough (now) to be at risk from the weapons then it is imperative that you take steps to make them safe from her. You may wish to consider one of the handgun storage vaults for your Kimber and use that in the house. __________________ NRA and NAHC Life "Both oligarch and tyrant mistrust the people, and therefore deprive them of their arms." -Aristotle

08-21-2008, 08:00 AM	#6
mrkirker Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3,067	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Your family: Your situation: Your house, as far as the relatives go. By being a responsible, careful gun owner, you'll gradually bring your wife around. Don't push too hard, she's already moved toward the idea once, and by being a good example, she just might return. Guardian, as a diamond has many facets; a relationship with a woman encompasses many things. She may not 'come around' fully to your idea of 'quality' time at the range. But there are many other facets that the two of you can illuminate in order to light your life path, seek and cherish those.

08-21-2008, 08:48 PM	#8
ponycar17 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: South Carolina Contributor Posts: 4,884	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... I really see no problem here. You mastered your wife's fear of guns with relative ease. Why not suggest to your father-in-law that he should shoot with you some time? I've found that firm anti-gun folks change a bit when they're actually shooting a firearm. It can be (perish the thought) fun... I converted my mother-in-law to a pro-gun person and it's a dang good thing too... My family has always been pro-gun. The only thing I worry about as a pro-gun dad at 29 is that my 16 month old son (at a later age) will go tell the soccer-mom blabber mouths at his daycare that I have a dreaded gun that I routinely carry into public places which allow such carry. I'm with Delta as well... Leave this laying around... http://www.gunfacts.info/

08-22-2008, 12:42 AM	#9
JohnK3 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 1,636	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... If your dad is carrying, invite both her dad and yours. That way, your dad can explain why, after years of thinking guns were bad, he's carrying a gun. __________________ Caesar si viveret, ad remum dareris.

08-24-2008, 02:07 PM	#10
Gator Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 28	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... your father-in-law sounds like a weenie. your mom sounds like a nut. your dad sounds like an enlightened, highly astute, and handsome man. you should seek counsel from your father. he seems to be pretty cool.

08-24-2008, 02:28 PM	#11
Guardian Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 8	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Folks, meet dad, AKA "Gator". So what say you? Wanna go shoot with the father in law?

08-26-2008, 02:50 PM	#12
redhart V.I.P. Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: east coast Posts: 83	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Jion the NRA, get the American riflman mag.(free) let her read the Armed citizen page, check out the local Police log,can usually be done online.Withall due respect she needs to realize the NEED .Most non LEO havent a clue what is happening in thier BACKYARDS

08-26-2008, 03:03 PM	#13
redhart V.I.P. Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: east coast Posts: 83	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Its better to have a gun and Not need it, then to need a gun and Not have it!! Old quote ,but a good one.

08-31-2008, 05:56 PM	#14
t. appleby Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 16	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... if it helps, i'm 23+ years as a cop, and not just line officer, did tours in narcotics, 18 yrs swat, and I am in command staff . Police are to clean up afterwards, rarely do we get there in time. violence happens to quick, criminals know that fast and furious , in and out gets what they want and a short term get away. That is how they live thier lives, in the wake a lot of innocent people get laid low. Keep your guns, get trained on law and tactics , combine the two and keep your young family safe. young lad you are the head of your house, your father in law needs to respect that and respectfully disagree but also not undermine you. If he does less then he is not much of a man or example for his family. Stand your ground and do the right thing, protect your family in a complete fashion, you use life insurance, a strong work ethic to provide, seat belts in the car and guns at hand for those with malice. best luck and god's blessing

10-01-2008, 01:31 PM	#15
GoodOl'12gauge V.I.P. Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 258	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Your house, your rules your child to protect. Its up to you not the in-laws. Get your gun practice with it, and use it well. Goodluck be safe

10-02-2008, 05:16 PM	#16
hkruss Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Mobile, Al. Posts: 1,092	Re: Young Father Prepares For The Worst... Some things to consider. First, your anti-gun in-laws have staunch beliefs that will not be changed overnight,(if ever). Stick to your guns!(no pun intended). Once they see you have made up your mind, they will probably hassle you less over time. If it does continue, use my favorite reason for having a gun for home defense, that being, which is better; Having a weapon in your trained hands to instantly protect your family, or waiting at least 3 to 5 minutes min. for the cops to get there (assuming you can get to the phone to call 911)? You may not have 3 to 5 min. before some horrific damage is done. Remind them, this is their little girl and grandchild you are protecting. Whatever you do, STAND BY YOUR CHOICE!!! As long as you and your wife are trained with guns, (and just as importantly, have the mindset to use them if needed) you are doing the right thing! Remember, it is your DUTY to protect your family, do NOT be persuaded otherwise!!