Old Timer Sex - The Firearms Forum

southernpatriot · 10-17-2008, 04:44 PM

Old Timer Sex

This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."
________________________________________

artabr · 10-17-2008, 04:56 PM

Art

Texman · 10-17-2008, 09:28 PM

made my day!!!

carver · 10-18-2008, 11:41 AM

Reminds me of true event that I witnessed way back in my youth. I was working at a lumber mill, and everyone usually just sat along one wall to eat lunch. On the other side of the wall was a pile of bark and saw dust, and there was a peice of tin laying on top of the pile. Two older black men who worked there had started using the area to take a leak instead of going to the mens room. Needless to say, after a while the odor got really bad. Once it was discovered waht the problem was one of the other employees wired up that peice of tin to an electrical charge. Everyone was watching when these two older men went around back to pee. The first one started peeing and began to shiver and moan, then the second one started to pee on the tin with the same reaction. They both knew immeaditely what had happened and while talking about it the first one asked the other why he had peed on the tin after he saw what was happening. The second man replied that he just thought the first one had VD and was moaning and shivering around because it hurt to pee. One of those, "You would have had to be there", things I guess!

Y'all be safe now, ya hear!

artabr · 10-19-2008, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carver

Reminds me of true event that I witnessed way back in my youth. I was working at a lumber mill, and everyone usually just sat along one wall to eat lunch. On the other side of the wall was a pile of bark and saw dust, and there was a peice of tin laying on top of the pile. Two older black men who worked there had started using the area to take a leak instead of going to the mens room. Needless to say, after a while the odor got really bad. Once it was discovered waht the problem was one of the other employees wired up that peice of tin to an electrical charge. Everyone was watching when these two older men went around back to pee. The first one started peeing and began to shiver and moan, then the second one started to pee on the tin with the same reaction. They both knew immeaditely what had happened and while talking about it the first one asked the other why he had peed on the tin after he saw what was happening. The second man replied that he just thought the first one had VD and was moaning and shivering around because it hurt to pee. One of those, "You would have had to be there", things I guess!

Y'all be safe now, ya hear!

Guess it pays to 'Know where you Go'.

It's getting bad when ya gotta check for wires and "booty" traps.

Art

PPK 32 · 10-20-2008, 07:52 AM

10-17-2008, 04:44 PM	#1
southernpatriot Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Unreconstructed, GA. Posts: 21	Old Timer Sex Old Timer Sex This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy! The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you." "Yes", she says, "I remember it well." "OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?" "Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!" A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them. The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground. The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is. So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together Is there some sort of secret to this?" Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence." ________________________________________ __________________ Southernpatriot -->

10-17-2008, 04:56 PM	#2
artabr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Iberia, Louisiana Contributor Posts: 7,859	Re: Old Timer Sex Art __________________ God and the soldier we like adore, In times of trouble, not before. When troubles ended and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier is slighted. Francis Quarles 1592 - 1644 __________________ When asked for my race, I answer CauCajun. Hope is not a plan, and not all change is good. The resistance is here; the resistance is now. RESIST! These hands are neither cold nor are they dead!!

10-17-2008, 09:28 PM	#3
Texman V.I.P. Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 362	Re: Old Timer Sex made my day!!!

10-18-2008, 11:41 AM	#4
carver TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of East Texas, just west of Shreveport, LA Contributor Posts: 11,221	Re: Old Timer Sex Reminds me of true event that I witnessed way back in my youth. I was working at a lumber mill, and everyone usually just sat along one wall to eat lunch. On the other side of the wall was a pile of bark and saw dust, and there was a peice of tin laying on top of the pile. Two older black men who worked there had started using the area to take a leak instead of going to the mens room. Needless to say, after a while the odor got really bad. Once it was discovered waht the problem was one of the other employees wired up that peice of tin to an electrical charge. Everyone was watching when these two older men went around back to pee. The first one started peeing and began to shiver and moan, then the second one started to pee on the tin with the same reaction. They both knew immeaditely what had happened and while talking about it the first one asked the other why he had peed on the tin after he saw what was happening. The second man replied that he just thought the first one had VD and was moaning and shivering around because it hurt to pee. One of those, "You would have had to be there", things I guess! Y'all be safe now, ya hear!

10-20-2008, 07:52 AM	#6
PPK 32 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Frickin, Illinois Posts: 1,170	Re: Old Timer Sex