A Modest Proposal

[SaddleSarge]

Received this from a buddy and thought it was pretty good:

A modest proposal

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists, Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize
that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for
many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly,
this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological
sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is
right, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can
smile, slate it up to irreconcilable differences, and go our
own ways.

Here is a model dissolution agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult
part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly
agreement. After that it should be relatively easy!
Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide
other assets since both sides have such distinct and
disparate tastes. We don't like redistributive taxes so
you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges
and the ACLU.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA, and the military. You can keep Oprah,
Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell (you are however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to
move them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. You can
have your beloved homeless, homeboys, hippies, and illegal
aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan Hockey Moms, greedy
CEO's, and Rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give
you NBC and Hollywood .

You can make nice with Iran, Palestine, and France , and
we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that
threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protestors.
When our allies or way of life are under assault, we'll
provide them job security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian Values. You are welcome
to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, and Shirley McClain. You
can have the U.N. But we will no longer be paying the bill.
We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized
luxury cars. You can take every Subaru Station Wagon you
can find.

You can give everyone healthcare, if you can find any
practicing Doctors (that is practicing, Howard Dean) who
will follow to your turf (sic). We'll continue to
believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and The
National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to
substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach The World To Sing,
Kum Ba Ya, or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics, and you can give
trickle up poverty its best shot.

Since it often so offends you we'll keep our History,
our Name, and our Flag.

Would you agree to this?

In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR
on who will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student
American

P.S. Please take Barbra Streisand.

[Haligan]

Funny SaddleSarge, but I hardly believe the genuine disagreements we have in this country could be resolved with such good humor.

[Nighthawk]

Liberals are just like muslims, they want to force their will on everyone else.

[JDS]

Good idea!!

Lettuce let the "red states" go their way. By not having to subsidize these mostly floundering places, the "real America" would be far better off.

Y'all can leave investment in stuff like education, public infrastructure and etc. to your booming private sector.......and without the currently available benefit of federal subsidies, these backward areas would fall even farther behind, and in a few generations, perhaps, even literacy would become unusual.

Without federal subsidies from "Red" states, Medicare would be unavailable, so everybody would go broke and die by age 65....Of course Social Security Insurance would be discontinued, so perhaps that'd be a "Blessing."


What sort of government would you have? You'd need to pick a "state religion?" Would that be Pentacostalism? Could the government perform exorcisms?

[pickenup]

Not quite how I would slice it up, but the premise is sound.

[Deathbunny]

Originally Posted by Nighthawk

Liberals are just like muslims, they want to force their will on everyone else.

Noooooooot quite. Us liberals (yep, liberal gun-toters are out there) don't go in for car bombs.

[RunningOnMT]

x

[RunningOnMT]

Originally Posted by Deathbunny

(yep, liberal gun-toters are out there)

I can believe that. I remember seeing the black panthers on tv with AK47's.