How about one of them gold desert eagles in 44 mag.
Seriously, how about a taurus 5 shot 38 (i forget the mdl # ) with the conceled hammer. That way it woin't get caught up on clothing or in the purse, or what ever it may get hung up on.
Oh heres one, I dont know if its still avaliable but Berreta may still make the 92 I believe with a single stack clip. Good for smaller hands. This may be offered in 40 cal. I'd go with that if you can get it.
Just thought of something else. Smith and wesson makes a whole line of Lady Smiths.