To the Guy Who Mugged Me - The Firearms Forum

AL MOUNT · 01-20-2009, 08:03 AM

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded
I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend.
You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.
Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas,
and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants.
I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me.
I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell,
and explaining to her your situation.

I also bought myself some gas on your card.
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet,
then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell.
They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones.
Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now,
so I don't know what's going on with that.
I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants.
I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing,
so I'd like to make it up to you.
I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out.
I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants.
What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder?
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated.
I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life.
Next time you might not be so lucky.
If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

Peace!
- Alex

graehaven · 01-20-2009, 09:40 AM

ROFL

Source?

artabr · 01-20-2009, 09:52 AM

Talk about a career ending experience.

Art

ilovenxstage · 01-20-2009, 10:26 AM

Nice!

45nut · 01-20-2009, 11:39 AM

Wow, that is nice.

ampaterry · 01-20-2009, 12:05 PM

I love it, Al!

mrkirker · 01-20-2009, 12:06 PM

Well done!

pinecone70 · 01-20-2009, 02:22 PM

It reads like classic craigslist rant/rave. Always amusing!

PPK 32 · 01-20-2009, 07:00 PM

Good one AL!!!

Ursus · 01-21-2009, 05:16 AM

You're the man!

John11139 · 02-05-2009, 02:29 PM

Hope you and Joe the plumber run for president next time. You'll get my vote

01-20-2009, 08:03 AM	#1
AL MOUNT Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Cleaning my Thompson in The Foothills of the Ozark Mountains Posts: 3,111	To the Guy Who Mugged Me To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah) Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry. Peace! - Alex __________________ 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment 101st Airborne Division Vietnam 67-68 -->

01-20-2009, 09:40 AM	#2
graehaven Advanced Senior Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY Posts: 2,853	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me ROFL Source? __________________ The beauty of the second amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson RESISTANCE IS FEUDAL... PREPARE TO SERVE.

01-20-2009, 09:52 AM	#3
artabr Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New Iberia, Louisiana Contributor Posts: 7,859	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Talk about a career ending experience. Art __________________ God and the soldier we like adore, In times of trouble, not before. When troubles ended and all things righted, God is forgotten and the soldier is slighted. Francis Quarles 1592 - 1644 __________________ When asked for my race, I answer CauCajun. Hope is not a plan, and not all change is good. The resistance is here; the resistance is now. RESIST! These hands are neither cold nor are they dead!!

01-20-2009, 10:26 AM	#4
ilovenxstage V.I.P. Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Indiana Posts: 147	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Nice! __________________ 1938 Mosin Nagant 91/30 H. Schmidt 22 revolver Heritage Rough Rider .22 revolver Marlin 25 .22 rifle NEF Pardner 12ga shotgun Winchester 1200 12ga shotgun CVA Buckhorn .50 muzzleloader "A gun is not a weapon, Marge. It's a tool. Like a butcher knife...or a harpoon, or......an alligator!" -Homer Simpson "Don't push it under the rug, don't forget it, because it's going to happen again." -Josephine Harris, 9/11 survivor

01-20-2009, 11:39 AM	#5
45nut Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,428	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Wow, that is nice. __________________ A gun is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an axe, a shovel or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it. Remember that. Shane Nemo me impune lacesset We recall the case of the Shoshone war band which showed up complete with one 30-30 rifle per man the week after Pearl Harbor, and simply wanted to have the enemy pointed out to them. "We hear there's a war going on and we want to go fight it." Jeff Cooper *KCCO*

01-20-2009, 12:05 PM	#6
ampaterry TFF Admin Staff Chaplain Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: West Tennessee Contributor Posts: 6,304	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me I love it, Al! __________________ A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders. Larry Elder

01-20-2009, 12:06 PM	#7
mrkirker Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3,067	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Well done! __________________ *I don't know if dogs have a heaven, but there will be dogs in mine.*

01-20-2009, 02:22 PM	#8
pinecone70 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Minnesota Gal! Posts: 4,730	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me It reads like classic craigslist rant/rave. Always amusing! __________________ _____________________________________________ "Miss Scarlet, in the library...with a revolver...."

01-20-2009, 07:00 PM	#9
PPK 32 Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Frickin, Illinois Posts: 1,170	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Good one AL!!!

01-21-2009, 05:16 AM	#10
Ursus Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: El Salvador, Central America. Posts: 1,030	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me You're the man! __________________ SI VIS PACEM, PARABELLUM.

02-05-2009, 02:29 PM	#11
John11139 Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 18	Re: To the Guy Who Mugged Me Hope you and Joe the plumber run for president next time. You'll get my vote