THE PLAN, MAN!!!

[rooter]

THOUGH IT SHOWED EVERY INDICATION THAT RAIN COULD HAPPEN AT ANY MOMENT YESTERDAY, THERE WAS NOT A DROP THE FALL ON MY BARE HEAD---THE FOREBODING LOOKING CLOUDS HUNG HEAVILY THERE IN THE EASTERN SKY---PROMISING LOOKING IF YOU WISHED FOR RAIN....SOMEWHERE OVER IN THE EAST VALLEY THE TV SHOWED A DUST STORM MATERIALIZING...DON'T WISH FOR ANY OF THOSE DUST STORMS AS THE GRIT GETS IN YOUR OATMEAL...AND I SUPPOSE, SOME UNPROTECTED EYES. SEEMS ONLY HOURS AGO, RIGHT HERE ON THE SCREEN, I WAS COMMENTING, "JEEZ CRIPES, IT'S SATURDAY ALREADY"---HELLO JOHN, JUST CUZ THE WORLD EVENTS SEEM TO GO BY QUICKLY FOR YOU, SOME POOR SOUL IS SAYING WITH EQUAL GUSTO, "DAMN, THE TIME SURE DRAGS"....TO EACH HIS OWN, BUT WHY SO CONFUSING FOR ME? HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE WEEKEND...FATHER'S DAY IS TO BE CELEBRATED AND HAVE YOU NOTICED ALL THE BIG FANCY BBQ's ADORING THE AISLES AT HOME DEPOT OR THE PORCHES AT THE GROCERY STORES...DAD CAN'T STASH THAT BIG SUCKER IN HIS GARAGE...YOU'VE GOT ALL YOUR MOTHERLY THINGS STORED THERE---TOO BIG FOR STORING IN CLOSETS OR DRAWERS SO I GUESS THE PATIO IS GONNA BE THE LIKELY SPOT FOR THAT GIFT...HEY, REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST SET UP HOUSEKEEPING WHEN ALL THE DRAWERS AND CLOSETS AND STORAGE SPACES WERE EQUALLY DIVIDED? OVER THE LONG YEARS THE 50/50 CONCEPT HAS DWINDLED DOWN TO MORE LIKE, 95/5 AND I BET YOU KNOW WHERE I'M TAKING THIS OBSERVATION...WHO HAS THE 95 PORTION AND STILL QUESTING FOR THOSE GARAGE SHELVES WHERE THE OLD MAN KEEPS THE BUG SPRAYS AND THE ENGINE OILS AND WHAT FEW TOOLS THE OFFSPRING HASN'T GLOMMED ONTO? YEAH DAD, THAT BIG FLASHY BBQ THAT KIND'A LOOKS LIKE A CAR MODELS FROM THE MID-2Oth CENTURY IS GONNA ADORN THE BACK OF THE HOUSE...GOOD COOKING, PILGRIM....THOSE SMOKY BRATS WITH BEER FLAVOR ARE TOLERABLE...AND BE SURE TO GET THAT EASY LIGHT CHARCOAL BECAUSE SURE AS GOD MADE LITTLE GREEN APPLES, SOMETIME THAT BOTTLED GAS IS GONNA RUN OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF COOKING BURGERS...AND YOU KNOW ABOUT UNDERCOOKED MEAT...JUST CUZ THAT BURGER LOOKS CREMATED DOESN'T MEAN MR. E-COLI HAS DEPARTED....HOW ABOUT A CLEAN NECKTIE---A NEW TIE WILL LAST YOU FOR YEARS...THE OLD MUSTARD STAIN ON THAT FAVORITE BROWN TIE OF YOURS HAS RUN THE COURSE FOR JOKES AND COMMENTS....JUST ANOTHER DAD

[Pistolenschutze]

Originally Posted by rooter

AND BE SURE TO GET THAT EASY LIGHT CHARCOAL BECAUSE SURE AS GOD MADE LITTLE GREEN APPLES, SOMETIME THAT BOTTLED GAS IS GONNA RUN OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF COOKING BURGERS...

Yup! Happened to me last night in fact. Fortunately, I had planned ahead and we had a new bottle of gas handy, but it was still a PITA! You know, Chief, those brats do sound good for some reason. Maybe I'll put a few on the grill tonight . . .