Playin in the snow.
In the winter of 2000 we got a big snow up in Ohio. Well we got three or four inches in a 24 hour period any way so I guess it wasnt all that big. Any way the snow came down and gave us a nice blanket covering the ground. Dave Fugate, My brother, and I decided we was gonna take our trucks out and play in the snow.
We drove all over the county fishtailing and spinning out and just having a big ole time. My brother Jason got the bright idea he wanted to go get himself a sled. So we made our way over to Richmond Indiana to the 24 hour Meijer stor off interstate 40 at 10:00 in the evening. We found a sled, one of those long plastic orange ones and as we were making our way out we passed the camping section and there was a coil of rope, 50 ft long nylon rope. My brother decided he was gonna buy that too.
We cashed out and crossed back over the Ohio state line heading towards the house on some po-dock back road when my brother asked Dave to pull over.
Well Jason got the bright Idea he was gonna go sleddin behind the truck. He procedes to tie the rope to the trailer hitch and grabbs the sled and sits in the road.
I open the tail gate and sit down that way I can relay to Dave to stop incase dip-tard falls off the sled. After a few tries he finally gets the hang of keeping his hind end in the sled at 30 miles and hour.
Well all was goin well till we got closer to the house. We went around a corner and lost em off the sled. Well actually it was kinda Daves fault though. He went around the corner a bit too fast and the truck fishtailed, Alot. Witch shot numb nutz off the road and to the ditch. For a secnd he looked like a rocket shootin through the air til he his the ground and started tumblin. Arms and legs and a steady stream of curse words is what Jason the Human trailer had become.
Well he hadnt had enough yet. So we get him dusted off and he climbs back onto the sled. We got a nice straight stretch of road and Dave opened up the truck to about 45. jason was back there just a hoopin and holerin and havin a gay ole time till the deer crossed the road in front of the truck. Dave slamed on the breakes and ole Jake slid under the truck. He went right under my feet and the "Oh Chit" look he had in his eyes as we made eyecontact rught before he passed under the tail gate was a truly priceless sight to see.
We untable him him from the trucks axle and dut him off again and we figgured he was done. Nope he was ready for more. So I dig out the sled and I got to lookn and you can see where the sled was gettin holes wore in it from the friction. Jason blew it off and said he was good and grabbed his rope and climbed back into the sled.
Well by this time you could see where the state trucks had been out on the road spreading their salt and sand mix. All was goin well. Were back to travelin down the road with a 160lb redneck hootin and hollerin behind the truck and that is where things went completely wrong.
We hit a patch of road where the snow and ice and been sucessfully removed from the asphult. Well he hit the asphult and then he started yellin: "My a$$ is burning, slow the truck down you Basterds" well I couldnt help my self I started laughin. Dave in the Cab of the truck heard what he though was somethin about gonna faster, so he says anyway, and he hit the gas. At 55 MPH the sled came out from under jasons hindend. By this time he was back on the snow and I started laughin even harder. The heels of his boots dug into the snow and he stood up and flopped over on his belly stilll being draged by the rope(Cuz he wrapped it around his hand) Finally I got Dave to stop the truck.
Jason started rolling arond in the snow scramin he was burnin. He stands up and you can see the steam rising off his butt and chest from where the friction had burned through his Carnhart Coveralls. And man was he mad.
"I TOLD YOU YO SLOW DOWN YOU INGNORANT BASTARD" and dave and I just busted out laughin right there in the middle for the road. We went back and got the sled and half the bottom of it was burned out of it.
When we got home Jason stripps off his coveralls and you can see his underware where the bottom of his jeans had been burnt through also. I have never laughed so hard in my life.
And no we didnt start drinkin untill after this was over with.
"You say the Devil made do it with a smile. Raisin' hell and howlin at the moon. Well I'm gonna put your @$$ back in line. I'm gonna scare the Devil out of you."
BlackBerry Smoke Song
Nothing is "proof" against a truly talented fool.