Preheat oven to 325F degrees.
Make sure turkey is completely thawed. Reach inside cavities and remove neck and giblets. Save for another recipe. Wash turkey and pat dry. Next, size up your turkey and use scissors to design a bikini bottom out of tin foil. Place on turkey.
For the bikini top, lay out a piece of tin foil. Use a small juice glass to draw 2 circles for the bra top, then draw out the straps, cut and place over turkey breasts.
Optionally, you can undo the wings, lift over the turkey neck and tie together with cooking twine (see resources below).
Spray a roasting pan liberally with non-stick spray, then place turkey in pan.
Step 3 Poultry Lifters are the best way to lift a hot turkey or ham or roast (see Resources below)Make sure the tin foil is smoothed flat on the skin. Next sprinkle the turkey with SAGE, this will give the turkey great flavor. Then sprinkle generously with PAPRIKA. This is going to give it that wonderful golden tan, so don't be skimpy on it. Gently pat the herbs against the skin, so they stick well.
Use a moist paper towel and gently wipe off excess herbs that have stuck to the tin foil bikini. (You don't want any herbs under the foil.)
Bake turkey in oven. When turkey is past half it's cooking time, gently, remove the bikini. Continue cooking until done.
6 to 8 pounds 2-1/2 to 3 hours
8 to 12 pounds 3 to 4 hours
12 to 16 pounds 4 to 5 hours
16 to 20 pounds 5 to 5-1/2 hours
20 to 24 pounds 5-1/2 to 6 hours
If using a meat thermometer, place the meat thermometer in the thickest part of the thigh, taking care that it does not touch any bone. Roast the turkey until the meat thermometer reaches 170-180 degrees F.
Step 4 Tanned Bikini Turkey (click to enlarge)When turkey is done pull out of oven and let sit 20-30 minutes while you assemble the rest of the meal, set the table etc. You may wish to cover turkey with a light foil tent to "hide the surprise bikini".
Use the poultry forks to transfer the turkey to a serving platter. Your dinner is sure to be a comical hit!
And it looks like this!