SM, hope you enjoy this one.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules for the male side. Finally!! So these are OUR rules! Please note...these are number "1" ON PURPOSE.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Weekends=shooting. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
1.Crying is Blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1.A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you want dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, your probably are. Don't ask us.
1.If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us what you want done, not both if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1.Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1.ALL men see in only 16 colors, Window default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1.If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong, and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as feeshing, shooting and or Monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have enough shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round in shape.
1. Thanks for reading this, Yes I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men don't really mind that, it's like camping.