Harold and Mildred - The Firearms Forum

ruffitt · 07-23-2003, 12:11 AM

Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden.
They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.

She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does that bitch, Ethel, have that I don't have?"

Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinsons."

Gunfyter · 07-23-2003, 08:42 AM

Good juan, Ruffit.

inplanotx · 07-23-2003, 09:42 AM

That'a a keeper, Ruff. Gonna borrow this one! Thanks

07-23-2003, 12:11 AM	#1
ruffitt TFF Admin Staff In Heaven Now Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Sparta, MI / Now In Heaven Also Posts: 2,880	Harold and Mildred Harold is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life. One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?" "SEX!!" he replies Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while." "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing creep! What does that bitch, Ethel, have that I don't have?" Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinsons." __________________ Any politician who doesn't trust me to own a weapon is not someone worthy of my vote, my respect, ~~ or my tax dollars. -->

07-23-2003, 08:42 AM	#2
Gunfyter Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Western Maryland Posts: 1,956	Good juan, Ruffit. __________________ Anything worth shooting once, is worth shooting again. If it ain't broke, break it. Someone needs the work

07-23-2003, 09:42 AM	#3
inplanotx Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 8,897	That'a a keeper, Ruff. Gonna borrow this one! Thanks __________________