The nursing home! - The Firearms Forum

carver · 02-21-2011, 11:47 AM

A bunch of old guys are sitting around the nursing home complaining about their ailments. One says:

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said a 60-year-old man. "You
always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there
and nothing comes out."

"Ah, that's nothin," said a 70-year-old. "When you're seventy,
you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran,
sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said an 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old.

"No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock;
no problem at all."

"So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?"

"No, I have one every morning at 6:30."

Exasperated, the
60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00
and take a dump every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?"

"I don't wake up until 7:00."

RunningOnMT · 02-21-2011, 05:22 PM

That's just wrong.

mncarpenter · 02-22-2011, 04:30 AM

I thought the ol' man smelled funny...

carver · 02-22-2011, 07:49 AM

My major problem with this one, is that I am to close to 80!!

02-21-2011, 11:47 AM	#1
carver TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of East Texas, just west of Shreveport, LA Contributor Posts: 11,542	The nursing home! A bunch of old guys are sitting around the nursing home complaining about their ailments. One says: "Sixty is the worst age to be," said a 60-year-old man. "You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out." "Ah, that's nothin," said a 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said an 80-year -old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing, too?" asked the 60-year old. "No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, "You pee every morning at 6:00 and take a dump every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00." __________________ Y'all be safe now, ya hear! Lamentations Chapter 5: 1. Remember, O LORD, what is come upon us: consider, and behold our reproach. 2. Our inheritance is turned to strangers, our houses to aliens. 3. We are orphans and fatherless, our mothers [are] as widows. 5. Our necks [are] under persecution: we labour, [and] have no rest. 16. The crown is fallen [from] our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned! 21. Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old. -->

02-21-2011, 05:22 PM	#2
RunningOnMT Advanced Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Akron, Ohio Contributor Posts: 4,720	Re: The nursing home! That's just wrong. __________________ "Is life so dear, or peace so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me liberty, or give me death!"

02-22-2011, 04:30 AM	#3
mncarpenter V.I.P. Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Minnesota Contributor Posts: 480	Re: The nursing home! I thought the ol' man smelled funny... __________________ *"No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women."- Ronald Reagan* *"Remember to have your democrats neutered or spayed" -Ann Coulter*

02-22-2011, 07:49 AM	#4
carver TFF Moderator/Host Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: DAV, Deep in the Pineywoods of East Texas, just west of Shreveport, LA Contributor Posts: 11,542	Re: The nursing home! My major problem with this one, is that I am to close to 80!! __________________ Y'all be safe now, ya hear! Lamentations Chapter 5: 1. Remember, O LORD, what is come upon us: consider, and behold our reproach. 2. Our inheritance is turned to strangers, our houses to aliens. 3. We are orphans and fatherless, our mothers [are] as widows. 5. Our necks [are] under persecution: we labour, [and] have no rest. 16. The crown is fallen [from] our head: woe unto us, that we have sinned! 21. Turn thou us unto thee, O LORD, and we shall be turned; renew our days as of old.