20 Reasons A Woman Should Call It A Night...
> 1. I have absolutely no idea where my purse is.
> 2. I believe that dancing with my arms overhead and wiggling my butt while
yelling WOO-HOO is truly the sexiest dance move around.
> 3. I've suddenly decided I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe
I could do it too.
> 4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye
Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago.
> 5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. burrito on the floor (which I'm eating even though
I'm not the least bit hungry),pick it up and carry on eating it.
> 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooooo much.
> 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work.
> 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me.
> 9. The man I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher.
> 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing
or dance becomes strangely overwhelming.
> 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep
them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy.
> 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
> 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me just
lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin.
> 14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen
> 15. I start every conversation with a booming, "DON'T take this the WRONG
> 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it.
> 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
> 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be
standing) and take a quick nap.
> 19. I begin leaving the buttons open on my button fly pants to cut down on
the time I'm in the bathroom away from my drink.
> 20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having
problems walking straight.
"You gonna do somethin', or just stand there and bleed?"---Wyatt Earp in "Tombstone"