101 ways to annoy people!

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by Tony22-250, Jun 1, 2009.

  1. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

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    This is so funny I had to share!!! I know all of us are guilty of doing a couple things on here!!:D:D:D Well at I know I am HA HA!!!

    1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

    2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

    3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

    4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

    5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

    6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

    7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

    8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

    9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

    10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

    11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

    12. Sniffle incessantly.

    13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

    14. Name your dog "Dog."

    15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

    16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

    17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

    18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

    19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

    20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

    21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

    22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

    23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

    24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

    25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

    26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

    27. Wear a special hip holster for your
    remote control.

    28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

    29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

    30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

    31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

    32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

    33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

    34. Drum on every available surface.

    35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

    36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

    37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

    38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
    into peoples backpacks.

    39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

    40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

    41. Set alarms for random times.

    42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

    43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

    44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

    45. Honk and wave to strangers.

    46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

    47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

    48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

    49. Wear your pants backwards.

    50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

    51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

    52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

    53. only type in lowercase.

    54. dont use any punctuation either

    55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

    56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

    57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

    58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

    59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.

    60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.

    61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."

    62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.

    63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

    64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.

    65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."

    66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

    67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.

    68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."

    69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

    70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

    71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

    72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

    73. Drive half a block.

    74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

    75. Ask people what gender they are.

    76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.

    77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.

    78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".

    79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

    80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.

    81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

    82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

    83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."

    84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

    85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

    86. Wear a LOT of cologne.

    87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."

    88. Sing along at the opera.

    89. Mow your lawn with scissors.

    90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"

    91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."

    92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

    93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
    about "psychological profiles."

    94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."

    95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

    96. Never make eye contact.

    97. Never break eye contact.

    98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.

    99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.

    100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

    101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2009
  2. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

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    Holy crap 100 views and no posts!
  3. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    As the parent of 3 kids...one being a teen still....I receive a large daily dose of "annoying." Just reading these made me wanna send someone to their room or have them work off their "creative energy" doing a few chores!!!
  4. Big ugly

    Big ugly New Member

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    My good friend named his Yorkie-Poo "Hey Dog" Plus I am gonna try some of this on the wife, see how many lumps and bruises she puts on my head.
  5. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    :D I like 'em. I used a couple of these suggestions this evening, but everybody already thinks I'm weird. LOL!
  6. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    lol pinecone...... "go to your room!!" :D

    (P.S. Which ones did you use??)
  7. johnlives4christ

    johnlives4christ Former Guest

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    i already shout random numbers when others count, as do i never make eye contact, as do i never break eye contact.

    also when someone says something, i say, is that right? as if i didnt believe.

    also, and my favorite, if someone tries to explain something to me i look at them dumbfounded, but dont say anything, as they explain in depth, then when they are done, i say, i already knew all of that. i do that to my boss, my wife, my friends lol
  8. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    Let's see, I took notes on people, didn't break eye contact, and a couple that aren't on the list: sometimes talk really fast and occasionally ducked, asking, "Was that a bat?"

    Heh.
  9. ampaterry

    ampaterry *TFF Admin Staff Chaplain* Staff Member Supporting Member

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    GREAT list!

    Shouting random numbers when someone is counting is one I have done.
    It absolutely ALWAYS makes them loose track, which is funny with your kids counting the contents of their piggy bank, but downright dangerous with the store employee doing inventory - -
  10. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

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    I do this one every time i see some one walking down the road!

    45. Honk and wave to strangers.
  11. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    hmmm...I like the bat one....
  12. pinecone70

    pinecone70 Active Member

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    I'm really into cheap entertainment....

    LOL!!
  13. FTK87

    FTK87 New Member

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    I like to sing annoying songs that get stuck in my coworkers heads, on of my favorites to do is - every breath you take lol feliz navidad is a good one too.
  14. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

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    what about 5 dollar foot long and I always feel that somebodies watching me form gieco!
  15. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    If I may add to your repertoire..... "It's a Small World" and "This is the Song That Never Ends..."

    (Okay...I confess...I've been known to be annoying once or twice...)
  16. You could always try singing Barney the Purple Dinosaur's theme song, 4Evr. Of course, doing so might result in your premature demise. The local DA would doubtless rule it justifiable homicide. :D;):p
  17. 4EvrLearning

    4EvrLearning New Member

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    I said I can be annoying, Pistol....I didn't say I had a death wish! ~:)~
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