3 of the USN's newest ships...

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by jjmitchell60, Jan 20, 2012.

  1. jjmitchell60

    jjmitchell60 Active Member

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    Raised in Buzzard Roost near Frog Town in hillls o
    3 New Navy Ships:

    USS REAGAN

    Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!


    [​IMG]


    When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

    Capability

    Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactorsthat can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

    1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

    2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

    3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

    Size

    1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

    2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

    3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

    4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

    5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

    6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

    Capacity

    1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

    2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

    3. 18,150 meals served daily

    4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

    5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

    6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

    USS BILL CLINTON



    The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC

    [​IMG]

    The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while holding the (formerly dignified) office of President.

    The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

    As a standing order, there are no firearms allowed on board.

    This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.

    An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

    In times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .



    USS BARACK OBAMA

    [​IMG]

    Details are vague.
    But don't you worry..........he has a plan
  2. geds

    geds New Member

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    Classic!
  3. rcairflr

    rcairflr Well-Known Member

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    Very good. No doubt that Obumer has a plan and I'm sure it comes with some "Hope and change".
  4. howlnmad

    howlnmad Well-Known Member

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    Priceless :lmao:.
  5. hkruss

    hkruss Active Member

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    .

    U.S.S. obama

    SSV-1
    (Socialism Spreading Vehicle)

    Nickname: " 'ol Jackass "

    Cost: About six trillion so far

    Service Life: Four years, hopefully

    Propulsion System:
    Multi-Fuel system, can run on money provided by Soros, Hollywood stars, Unions and misguided Liberal do-gooders. Can also be propelled literally by the stupidity and naivety of uninformed Americans.
    Also runs partially upon narcissism and inflated sense of self importance.
    Burns around $10,000 per second in Taxpayer funds.

    Armament:
    1 - Mk1 Mod1 'BRAY' Anti-Common Sense Device. The 'BRAY', (Bull Sh** Repeating, Always Yakkin') system, works by constantly spewing crap and false information in a constant loud and obnoxious tone, which, if repeated enough, will overcome the common sense of voters unequipped with an anti-B.S. counter-system.

    1 - Cloaking Mechanism (also known as 'the media'). This system functions by conveniently suppressing potentially embarrassing info, such as ties to known terrorists, 20 year membership in the church of a vitriol spewing anti- American preacher, and admitted admiration and association with college Communist groups and Marxist professors.
    This system has proven to be very effective. After all, how much do we REALLY know about the past of the ship's namesake?

    2 - BIGASS ears. These detect any incoming threats and immediately dispatch nebbish Press Secretaries or Debbie Wasserman-Shultz to counter the threats.

    1 - "B.O.W.", (bend over, welcome) System. This system allows the obama to bend at the waist to signify weakness or submission to foreign potentates or any other dignitaries deemed important enough to have their butt kissed.




    Despite it's unassuming, goofy appearance, the U.S.S. obama possesses the power to bring down the most powerful Nation the World has ever seen by basically turning it into France. C'mon, you want to be like France, oui?



    .

    Attached Files:

  6. joncutt87

    joncutt87 Active Member

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  7. gad1111

    gad1111 Member

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    Someone should Photoshop that pic so the ass is looking down his nose then it would be just like it's namesake

    Greg
  8. mjp28

    mjp28 Well-Known Member

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    USS Reagan, what a ship! I've been to the Arizona Memorial, quite a stunning contrast.

    Then I'm reading the USS WJC first thinking when did he......gotcha!

    That was funny.
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