a couple...

Discussion in 'The Pump House Saloon' started by glocknut, May 10, 2009.

  1. glocknut

    glocknut New Member

    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    THE FORUM MASCOTT...
    When a teenage girl smiles at a boy, he tries to decide what makes him so sexy.

    When a young lady smiles at a man in his fifties, he turns around to see who's the handsome dude behind him.

    But when a female of any age smiles at a man of 80, he looks down to see if he's unzipped.

    -------------------------------

    Don't panic but I'm in the hospital.

    I have poisoned myself.

    I ate what I thought was an onion.

    It turned out that it was a daffodil bulb.

    Doctor says I'll be out in the spring!

    -----------------------

    A frog goes to have his fortune told. The swami looks at his little webbed palm and says, "Aha! You're about to meet a beautiful young lady who is going to want to know everything about you."

    The frog says, "Thanks! I'm going to run right back to the pond so I won't miss her."

    The swami says, "You won't meet her at the pond. You're going to meet her in her freshman biology class."

    --------------------

    Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a vodka and cranberry along with a quiet conversation with Jesus. This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said, "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"

    And I heard the reply, "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."

    I said, "I thought that money was the root of all evil."

    And the reply was, "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad."

    I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"

    He replied, "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Senor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."
  2. Tony22-250

    Tony22-250 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,146
    Location:
    Snellville, GA
    LOL nice glocknut i needed a good laugh!!! :D:D:D:D:D:)
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