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A jellyfish Bad day!

Discussion in 'The Beau Coupe Dien Cai Dau Hootch' started by berto64, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. berto64

    berto64 Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    7,511
    Location:
    Owyhee County, Idaho
    This is even funnier when you realize it's
    real! Next
    time you have a bad day at work think of
    this guy.

    Rob is a commercial saturation diver for
    Global Divers in
    Louisiana. He performs underwater repairs on offshore
    drilling rigs.

    Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.
    She then sent it
    to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne , Indiana
    ,
    who was sponsoring a worst job experience
    contest. Needless
    to say, she won.


    Hi Sue,

    Just another note from your
    bottom-dwelling brother. Last
    week I had a bad day at the office. I know
    you've been
    feeling down lately at work, so I thought
    I would share my
    dilemma with you to make you realize it's
    not so bad
    after all. Before I can tell you what
    happened to me, I
    first must bore you with a few
    technicalities of my job. As
    you know, my office lies at the bottom of
    the sea. I wear a
    suit to the office. It's a wet suit. This
    time of year
    the water is quite cool. So what we do to
    keep warm is this:
    We have a diesel powered industrial water
    heater. This
    $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water
    out of the sea.
    It heats it to a delightful temperature.
    It then pumps it
    down to the diver through a garden hose,
    which is taped to
    the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn
    good plan, and
    I've used it several times with no
    complaints. What I
    do, when I get to the bottom and start
    working, is take the
    hose and stuff it down the back of my wet
    suit. This floods
    my whole suit with warm water. It's like
    working in a
    Jacuzzi.


    Everything was going well until all of a
    sudden, my butt
    started to itch. So, of course, I scratched
    it. This only
    made things worse.

    Within a few seconds my butt started to
    burn. I pulled the
    hose out from my back, but the damage was
    done. In agony, I
    realized what had happened. The hot water
    machine had sucked
    up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
    Now, since I
    don't have any hair on my back, the
    jellyfish
    couldn't stick to it, however, the crack
    of my butt was
    not as fortunate. When I scratched what I
    thought was an
    itch, I was actually grinding the
    jellyfish into the crack
    of my butt.

    I informed the dive supervisor of my
    dilemma over the
    communicator. His instructions were
    unclear due to the fact
    that he, along with five other divers,
    were all laughing
    hysterically. Needless to say I aborted
    the dive. I was
    instructed to make three agonizing
    in-water decompression
    stops totaling thirty-five minutes before
    I could reach the
    surface to begin my chamber dry
    decompression. When I
    arrived at the surface, I was wearing
    nothing but my brass
    helmet.

    As I climbed out of the water, the medic,
    with tears of
    laughter running down his face, handed me
    a tube of cream
    and told me to rub it on my butt as soon
    as I got in the
    chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I
    couldn't poop for two days
    because my butt hole was swollen shut.

    So, next time you're having a bad day at
    work, think
    about how much worse it would be if you
    had a jellyfish
    shoved up your butt.

    Now repeat to yourself,
    'I love my job, I love my job, I love my
    job.'
    Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself,
    is this a
    jellyfish bad day?.

    May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad
    day!!!!!

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