A LITTLE BIT OF HEAT THEORY......

Discussion in 'VMBB General Discussion' started by rooter, Feb 19, 2006.

  1. rooter

    rooter *VMBB Senior Chief Of Staff*

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Messages:
    11,014
    Location:
    Marty Robbins old hometown, Glendale Arizona--a su
    The following is purportedly an actual question given on a University of
    Washington chemistry mid-term.
    -
    The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared
    it
    with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have
    the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
    -
    The Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
    (absorbs heat)?
    -
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
    (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
    variant.
    -
    One student, however, wrote the following:
    -
    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
    at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
    soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
    -
    Therefore, no souls are leaving.
    As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
    Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
    that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
    Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not
    belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
    Hell.
    =
    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
    souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
    change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order
    for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
    Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
    -
    This gives two possibilities:
    -
    1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
    until all Hell breaks loose.
    -
    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
    over.
    -
    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
    my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
    with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last
    night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is
    exothermic and has already frozen over.
    -
    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
    extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my
    God."
    -
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
  2. Marlin T

    Marlin T Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 8, 2005
    Messages:
    7,906
    Location:
    New Mexico
    I think that this kid just explained global warming!!!
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